Well, my life is 25% embarrassing on a daily basis so I have a lot of material to choose from. Usually when people ask this question I immediately think about this particular boy in my elementary/middle school days. The kid was the sole witness to many of my embarrassing moments. It was uncanny how many accidental moments he was present for, so much so that I considered him "unlucky" and I feared the inevitable whenever I was alone with him. I won't share his name in case he ever stumbles upon this blog (that would be embarrassing) but for the sake of this post we'll call him JP. Now, I don't have all day to share all moments this kid witnessed but I will say they took place over the course of several years, all different scenarios, and every time I think about any of them I cringe and wonder how I survived. Everything seems worse in hindsight. Also, because I'm sure some of you might wonder, I did NOT have a crush on him. He was a wee little boy about a foot an a half shorter than me and part of the popular crowd. I on the other hand was above average height and a loser. It was middle school what can I say?
The moment I will share took place on a Friday afternoon in sixth grade. It was English class (also known as language arts) and we had a substitute teacher. Her name was Mrs. Brand. I was sitting at my normal table with three of my friends and the whole classroom was a little rowdy with it being a Friday afternoon. We were being administered our weekly spelling test. Now, we had spelling tests on Monday and if you passed (which I never did) then you got to skip the Friday test and didn't have to do the weekly spelling homework. Since I didn't pass the Monday test, I had to take the Friday test (as usual). My friends and I were goofing around and I grabbed my friend's test paper. The sub assumed I was taking it too cheat and called me out in front of the whole class. Embarrassing yes, but it gets worse.
Mrs. Brand yelled at me and said I had to go out into the hall and re-take the test alone. One of the students who had passed the test the Monday test would administer it. That's right, me and JP alone in the hall while he read the words allowed and watched as a miserably failed to spell them correctly on my paper (I was a terrible speller - I never even tried to study). You guys, I'm sweating right now as I write this thinking about how embarrassing it was. Ugh! Then I had the walk of shame coming back into the classroom while everyone was watching and JP handed my failed test over to the sub as she continued to scold me for "cheating." It was the worst.
As a bonus edition: Many many years later long after middle school and high school and I considered my life free of JP, I was working at a gelato shop as a summer job while I was home from college over break. I was a scooper and it was the best job ever. Anyways, one night guess who walks in? JP. I froze. We recognized each other and I seized up in terror. As I was scooping his order the gelato slipped out of the scoop and flew through the case to land in the container of another flavor. I had to stop and clean up the mess before successfully giving him his order. Yet another embarrassing moment witnessed by JP. I hope I never see him ever ever again.
Now here is a picture of me in the good old Middle School days.
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| Jess, me, and Mandy circa 1998 |
Come back tomorrow to hear about one of Dan's most embarrassing moments.
I thought you were going to say that you ended up marrying JP!
ReplyDeleteThat was the cutest story!