Swimming Lessons

I feel like I've been trying to enroll Kip in swim lessons half of his life. First it was our attempt to get into Goldfish Swim School in Brooklyn back when he was two. There were construction delays that stalled that and then Covid hit and then we moved and, well, yeah, it never happened. After our first winter in New Jersey, I looked into swim lessons at the YMCA in town last spring. They had some Covid restrictions which meant it was actually the parent in the water with the kid while the instructor stood on the side and told the parent what to do. I did not think that would be the best option for us because Kip is much more compliant with trying new things when he isn't with his safety adults. But, I reached out to the aquatics director anyway to see about enrolling Kip. I got put on a wait list and then never heard back. Summer came with no lessons and we put Kip in a puddle jumper whenever we went to the pool and that was it. 

In the fall it was all about school and getting Kip adjusted to that milestone and now here we are, back at spring. I emailed the aquatics director at the Y several times again and never heard back. So I called, multiple times and never got through to him. Then one day I called the front desk and was informed that the aquatics director was moving on and well that just made sense. So I spoke to that woman and she described the swim lesson options and before I knew it, Kip was enrolled in the preschool class for that coming Saturday. Initially, I thought I wanted private lessons for Kip but there were none available and the woman wisely suggested that Kip would probably do better in a group class where he is more motivated by the peers in his company. 

When we told Kip about the swim lessons, he pushed back HARD which is very typical for him. I've mentioned before that he is very intimidated by new skills and often refuses to participate or even try. We did our best to acknowledge his feelings, share stories about our swim lesson experience as kids, explain why swim lessons are important, etc. His refusals only got louder. So we said for the first week, he simply had to go and look at the pool. Dan managed to get Kip over to the Y where they saw the pool and left.

Week two the deal was Kip just needed to put ONE toe in the water. After a monumental struggle, Dan managed to get Kip to the poolside and he eventually sat on the side and put both feet in the water and kicked a little!! I praised the heck out of him all week, gushing at how proud I was and how proud he should feel for doing something that felt scary. I took every opportunity to give him examples of when I am scared to do something hard and how it's ok to feel scared and still be brave.

SLOW progress. 

I bought little water babies at Five Below and Kip pretend played swimming lesson with them at bath time for a couple of weeks. We also pretend played lessons with him. Each of us had a teacher name. I was Ms. Mary. Mandy was Ms. Sweet. Dan was Mr. Blue and we pretended to be swim teachers during bath and practiced kicks and blowing bubbles. Kip started to like laying on his back and pretend to float (added bonus this is a game changer for rinsing his hair out). 

We also have three books about swimming lessons which we've read many times.

Week three I thought Kip might progress a bit more based on his increased excitement. Dan said he struggled less to get him to the pool but again, he was only willing to put his feet in the water. The instructor talked to him and tried to encourage him but he wouldn't budge.

Week four Dan said Kip was still really shy and reluctant. He was super moody before he left the house which is usually an indication of his nervousness. Dan said despite that, Kip put his feet in right away and the teacher (a new girl) started to talk to him and then Kip just got in the water! 

He did floats and kicks and jumping in. He did AWESOME!! We were so proud and he was so proud. 

Week five continued with attitude and resistance but Kip got in the water fairly quickly and tried some new things, including floating on his back without the noodle or the teacher's help!! 

And finally, week six (this past Saturday). Kip got into the pool no problem and participated in all activities!!

Hopefully this progress sticks and Kip continues to gain confidence in the water. That's all I hope for really, I don't want an Olympic athlete, I just want Kip to be able to get himself to the side of the pool if necessary and understand basic water safety.

Next week the next session of lessons begins and his best gal pal from school will be in the class with him! These lessons run through the end of June - just in time for summer!

Maybe you wonder why it's always Dan taking Kip? Several reasons, Dan is just a naturally more patient person. I've always felt like he fit that scripture about love. "Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth^.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." That verse fits Dan 100% and well, wouldn't you rather have someone like that by your side when you have to do something scary or hard? I do, heck that's part of what makes Dan a great partner, husband, and dad! Additionally, Kip is me. We have very similar personalities and therefore we trigger each other. And for that matter, Mandy, Kip, and I are all the same. If any one of us is dis-regulated, we're all at risk of being dis-regulated. Throw-in a tantrum in a public place and you've got a recipe for a scene. So, Dan is handling swim lessons! 

Know your strengths and bow to your partner in your weakness. That's my tip as a highly sensitive parent with a  highly sensitive kid and a saint for a husband.