Our Breastfeeding Journey, Part IV

Apparently the first week of August is World Breastfeeding Week. So, now you know. Who cares?

I do. But if you asked me a year ago, I couldn't have cared less.

Next week, Kip turns one year old and with that momentous occasion, the two of us will meet my breastfeeding goal. One year. And it was a very rocky year as far as breastfeeding goes. I feel like the two of us experienced all there was to offer.

No latching
Painful latching
Exclusive Pumping
Anxiety about supply
Hyper lactation
Overactive and painful letdowns
Prolactin hormone anomalies
Overfeeding
Underfeeding 
Clogs
Engorgement
Persistent leaking
Situational reflux (due to overactive letdowns)
Successful nursing
Spilled milk
Oversupply
Donated milk
Goldilocks (just enougher)
Forgotten pump parts
Flooding the pump
Nipple biting
Undersupply

The only thing we didn't experience was mastitis (praise the Lord) but our journey isn't over yet, so let's not jinx it. 

I planned on doing a little reflective post about our breastfeeding journey after we met our goal but I feel like one week early, on the occasion of World Breastfeeding Week, seems more fitting.

You can read about our initial journey here:
Part I
Part II
Part III
More drama

It took Kippy 5 weeks to latch. And it took both of us three solid months to figure out how to direct nurse properly. And by properly I mean that beautiful image of a breastfeeding mother holding her content and properly latched baby. An image most mothers achieve just moments after their child is born. Although the journey Kip and I had was not what I envisioned, wanted, or even knew was possible - I am deeply grateful for it. Every disappointment along the way made me more appreciative of every success. I wouldn't know the joy of that image if I hadn't endured the physical and emotional pain of our failures.

I now also understand the complexities of the decision to breastfeed. And I understand and praise every woman's decision not to. It's a huge commitment. A burden. And there are physical, mental, and medical reasons why some women choose to but can't. There is so much shame and guilt projected by society around all aspects of breastfeeding. Opinions that consider it disgusting and inappropriate to others who feel any alternative is abusive and wrong. And every mom and her baby fall somewhere in between, stuck between those extreme viewpoints with ultimately only one thing that matters. Feed the baby. By any means, just feed the baby. Direct nursing, exclusively pumping, formula feeding, or some combination of the three. YOUR choice is the RIGHT choice. Period.

For Kip and I, we tried all three. He was formula fed the day he was born. Then bottle fed breast milk exclusively for the first five weeks. I both nursed and pumped in combination for a total of 288 days straight. And we are just eight days away from a year of breastfeeding. I donated 3,771 ounces of milk to local moms and we still have over 100 ounces of stored milk in our freezer. We had many triumphs that I'm super proud of and we have other struggles that I remember with both regret and joy. It was by far the most difficult part of my inaugural year of motherhood and I'm praying we still have some life left in our journey.

Next Thursday will hopefully be the last day I pump at work. On Friday, Kip's birthday, I hope to transition him to nursing just once a day. Some mothers have told me that it's entirely possible to nurse just once a day, not pump, and yet maintain enough supply to continue nursing as long as we choose. Other mothers have told me I'll dry up quickly. So, we'll try and see how far we get with no regrets either way. The goal is one year and anything beyond that is just a little whipped cream on top!