Here we go with Part III
So, I thought I was going to be an exclusive pumper and I made reluctant peace with that. I figured I just needed to endure the first three months, wait for my supply to "regulate," start reducing the number of times I pumped, get into a rhythm, and survive. Add to, buy a mini deep freezer and convince Mandy to keep it at her apartment, purchase a better more "gentle" pump, buy stock in breastmilk storage bags, and never sleep through the night again.
Well, a few weeks ago, Dan and I fed Kip a bottle in the early morning and got him back to sleep while we tried to catch a few more moments of rest. Not that long after, Kip was rousing and acting hungry again. We had been advised by the pediatrician to make sure we didn't overfeed him by offering a bottle for comfort. But he seemed hungry and was rooting around. Honestly, I was lazy and didn't want to get out of bed and get a bottle. So we decided to try a side-by-side laying down position and attempt nursing. And he latched!!!
Dan took this photo the morning he latched. We got video and more photos but this is a family friendly blog so we'll keep my ladies out of it ;o).
Dan took this photo the morning he latched. We got video and more photos but this is a family friendly blog so we'll keep my ladies out of it ;o).
The fact that he latched was crazy and totally unexpected because I had "given up" trying and assumed the longer he went without attempting the more likely he was to forget. Evidently not. He nursed on both sides that morning and I felt so happy. I figured it was a one-time thing, not likely to be repeated but simply a tiny little gift from God to lift my spirits and give me one good direct nursing moment with my baby.
The next morning we tried again and he refused. I wasn't surprised and therefore not disappointed. So I kept pumping.
Exactly a week later, we tried again and he latched. I followed it the next day with another attempt and before long we had gone five days with successful latching and feeding. I was over the moon and so proud of Kippy for figuring it out. He just needed a little more time and probably less pressure from me. Nursing is pretty darn convenient and Kippy is so snugly and sweet after doing it and I just loved getting to share those moments with him.
Post nursing session:
However, despite the nursing, I was still so engorged throughout the day, still having painful let-downs, soaking through shirts and bedsheets, and unable to get through a breastfeeding session without leaking on the other side. And I was still producing close to 60 ounces of milk every day. I couldn't skip pumps as it was too painful and as a result my body was stimulating more production with Kip nursing between pumps.
We got through 3-4 days of sporadic nursing and then Kippy started having issues with it. Because my let-down is so forceful he was getting way too much milk too quickly. Nursing in about five minutes, gulping the entire time, and screaming in pain afterwards followed by huge amounts of spit-up. Even if I nursed him while I laid flat on my back to slow the flow, he still got too much. Pulling him off early to burp didn't help either. So I was only ever able to nurse him in the morning, right after my first morning pump. I was too afraid to try more often than that.
I suppose I could be ok with only getting to nurse him once a day in the morning. But the thought of not having to lug my pump with us whenever we went out and constantly worrying about the diminishing space in our freezer for my oversupply was just too enticing. And I wanted relief from the pain and relief from the stress of pumping.
When I started back at work a couple of weeks ago, I hoped the added stress would help to diminish my supply. Nope. The hospital grade pump that they provide at my office for moms to use is so gentle that my output was doubling. Whereas at home I could pump for 15 minutes and get 3-4 ounces per side. At work, the pump is giving me 5 ounces from each side in under 10 minutes. I am never able to fully empty at work because I don't have enough bottles to pump into and I will NOT haul more than 30 ounces of milk home on the subway every night. This is what I have to carry home after work.
At the beginning of last week, I was just so tired and discouraged. I feel like feeding Kip has always been one giant question mark and it was stealing my joy of parenting. I was thrilled he was nursing but we clearly were doing something wrong as neither of us knew what we were doing. So we reached out to a Lactation Consultant, again. We saw an LC when Kip first came home but until last week, I didn't want to meet with another one. The first LC we saw wasn't super helpful and she was very expensive. And then when I decided to exclusively pump, I felt like a failure in some ways and I assumed an LC wouldn't be able to help me and instead force me to go "back to breast."
But now, since we were sort of nursing I felt like I "qualified" to meet with another LC. So last Tuesday we had a different woman come to our apartment (it was a major task to find someone that took our insurance) and she spent close to two hours with Kippy and me. She was super sweet and encouraging and really listened to me without judging all the mistakes I had made along the way. She weighed Kip, watched me feed him, gave me tips on how to help him control the flow, showed me other ways to help relieve his gassiness, and wrote out a schedule for me to follow to slowly reduce my supply and CUT PUMPING!!! After she left, I was covered in spit-up but Kippy was full and satisfied and I felt like the biggest weight had been lifted from me. The following day she texted me multiple times to check-in and see how things were going!! Super impressed with her and how helpful she is.
This past weekend I exclusively nursed Kip. No bottles. And I only had to pump 2-3 times in the day instead of 6-7. Some of our nursing sessions were great, others were a bit chaotic. But overall, we're getting the hang of it. I'm still pumping more than a nursing mom would, leaking a lot, and engorged a lot. But I have a plan and I feel confident about what we are doing. I'm sure I'll keep making mistakes but I don't feel like I'm responsible for finding my own solutions, I know someone who can help me out and give me professional advice.
If we could go back to day one, I would approach so many things differently. My lack of confidence with the initial breastfeeding attempts likely created the problem. If I had given myself more grace and Kip more time, we might have avoided all this. Or maybe not. Who knows. But we've learned a lot through the process and I feel like that helps me to treasure nursing even more, despite the increasing number of times Kip has puked on me (compared to bottle feeds). Direct nursing is what I wanted and I'm so grateful it is starting to work out. But I also deeply respect exclusive pumpers. It is an incredibly hard task and sacrifice and I admire all the moms that stick it out for any part of their journey.
Happy Kippy:
But now, since we were sort of nursing I felt like I "qualified" to meet with another LC. So last Tuesday we had a different woman come to our apartment (it was a major task to find someone that took our insurance) and she spent close to two hours with Kippy and me. She was super sweet and encouraging and really listened to me without judging all the mistakes I had made along the way. She weighed Kip, watched me feed him, gave me tips on how to help him control the flow, showed me other ways to help relieve his gassiness, and wrote out a schedule for me to follow to slowly reduce my supply and CUT PUMPING!!! After she left, I was covered in spit-up but Kippy was full and satisfied and I felt like the biggest weight had been lifted from me. The following day she texted me multiple times to check-in and see how things were going!! Super impressed with her and how helpful she is.
This past weekend I exclusively nursed Kip. No bottles. And I only had to pump 2-3 times in the day instead of 6-7. Some of our nursing sessions were great, others were a bit chaotic. But overall, we're getting the hang of it. I'm still pumping more than a nursing mom would, leaking a lot, and engorged a lot. But I have a plan and I feel confident about what we are doing. I'm sure I'll keep making mistakes but I don't feel like I'm responsible for finding my own solutions, I know someone who can help me out and give me professional advice.
If we could go back to day one, I would approach so many things differently. My lack of confidence with the initial breastfeeding attempts likely created the problem. If I had given myself more grace and Kip more time, we might have avoided all this. Or maybe not. Who knows. But we've learned a lot through the process and I feel like that helps me to treasure nursing even more, despite the increasing number of times Kip has puked on me (compared to bottle feeds). Direct nursing is what I wanted and I'm so grateful it is starting to work out. But I also deeply respect exclusive pumpers. It is an incredibly hard task and sacrifice and I admire all the moms that stick it out for any part of their journey.
Happy Kippy:
So awesome that you guys are direct nursing! I know you wished for that so I'm glad that you are doing it! It's really cool that your work offers a pump for moms to use. I didn't know a more gentle pump could increase amount pumped. I wish hospital grade pumps were for sale to individuals (maybe they are?) because I need all the help I can get. I'm so proud of you for pursuing the lactation consultant meeting! She sounds like an awesome person!
ReplyDeleteHospital grade pumps can be purchased but they are expensive. The one at my office is on Amazon for over $2,000. What pump do you have? The Exclusive Pumpers Facebook group I was in had all kinds of tips on getting better output. Apparently the Medela Pump in Style (the one I have) is really hard on the nips and is not recommended by most women. I do fine with mine but if you find your pump hurts you then it will contribute to low output. The best rated pump, it seems, is the Spectra S2. Also, flange size makes a difference. Some women have to get two different sizes apparently. The number one thing they suggest on the group for output is water. Tons of water (like more than a gallon if you can handle it). Others swear by red Gatorade. Hot compresses or pumping after a hot shower works too. I think you already know about the various foods (oatmeal, flax, etc.) But, over and over again women say "it depends on the woman." What works for some doesn't work for others. Ugh, life. Also, EPers swear by the Middle of the Night pump. Supposedly if you pump between 1 am and 5 am it stimulates higher overall output because that is when the milk producing hormone is highest. If you're up with Avery or checking on Michael, it might be worth a try? The LC I saw said that middle of the night pump is essential for exclusive pumpers because the baby's saliva is never present to cue your body to produce more milk during the day. Oh, and "power pumping" this simulates cluster feeding. You pump for an hour: 20 minutes on take a 10 minute break, then 10 on and 10 off, etc. I never did it but also worth a try?
DeleteThanks for the info!!! This is super. I have the medela "pump in style." I've done some midnight pumping (sometimes after I nurse and absolutely if she doesn't want to eat) and I'm always disappointed with the amount I get. I did power pumping the other night and then again yesterday and I can tell a difference today. I'm trying hard to keep up with my water intake. Thanks for the tips!
DeleteMidnight might be too early. Apparently the window is 1-5 am. But I felt like the loss of sleep wasn't worth the ounces. You may feel differently. Good luck!
Delete