Tons and Bunches: Peeks from the Week

I guess this is technically the end of week two since the office officially closed and the end of week one of the city being on official lock-down, or stay-at-home, or shelter in place. Whatever you want to call it.

I feel like mentally we are in a better place this week than we were last week. I've moved from being really down and disappointed to just accepting this is what it is. Am I happy? NO. But I'm no longer delusional about this being our new reality. We've tried to stick to a routine and now that Mandy is here with us, we have a much better handle on the working from home/childcare situation. We are trying to make the best of it.

New developments this week: I had my first telemed visit with my OB. She said I was her first virtual visit as well. Since I am just at the start of the third trimester she was able to just do a quick check-in. But in two weeks I need to go into the office for a real visit since they need to check the growth and baby's heart. I've ordered a blood pressure monitor as she suggested. The bummer news was finding out that hospital policies have changed in light of the virus and now all women have to deliver alone. No visitors allowed in labor/delivery or recovery. I'm hoping circumstances will change by the end of May but I'm being realistic as well and accepting that will likely not be the case. I am grateful that I at least know a bit what to expect for labor and that it's what's best for everyone on the maternity floor. Mom's, doctors, and babies. It will truly suck to not have Dan there for support and for him to miss the birth of his baby girl but all of it is out of our control. Maybe by that point in time they will figure out a way for partners to be available via video.

Also, new this morning...someone in our apartment building is symptomatic. And this is what I feel like people across the country don't realize about this pandemic and one big disadvantage of living in the city. We don't have a home that is separated from all other people. We can't actually practice true good social distancing when we have to use common spaces to get in and out of the building, to take the trash out, to do laundry! We are doing everything we can and it still won't be enough. Mandy got up at 6 am this morning to do our laundry at a time when most people aren't up yet. When she got to the basement the door was locked and the Super came out and told her he had gotten a text 15 minutes earlier from another tenant letting him know that they did their laundry yesterday while they had a fever and were coughing. One, I'm glad he stopped Mandy. Two, why in the heck would you do your laundry while symptomatic and wait almost a full day before informing the Super? Three, now what? We still have to do laundry! 40-50% of the tenants in our building are over the age of 60. Odds are, someone in our building will die from this virus.

We haven't been outside since last Saturday. Our plan for tomorrow is to get up at 5/5:30 and get in the car. Haul ALLLLL our laundry and drive over to New Jersey to go to a larger laundromat near Mandy's apartment. It's more spacious and we can wipe down the machines. We will do all the laundry for the week, hang out at Mandy's place, restock from her fridge to bring to Brooklyn, and try to go out for a walk at a hopefully vacant park. We still haven't decided if we will risk going to the store. Everything feels toxic and that's a really scary situation to be in. Someone might say, well, that's your problem for deciding to live in a big city. Well, yes, technically true. But no one could have ever expected this and we can't change our situation now. Also...this will be the reality in every city in the nation very, very soon.

All week on social media it's been hard for me to see other moms and families across the country worrying and complaining about their situations. I understand everyone has a right to be afraid and complain. None of this is comfortable for anyone. No one wants this. But, not every situation is the same. We have no backyard to send Kip out to when he gets stir crazy. He can't run around safely anywhere near our home. We don't have space to store food for a month and deep freeze to avoid shopping for weeks at a time. We share laundry facilities. Our next door neighbors are literally on the other side of a three-inch thick wall. We have 40,000+ people who are sick and a hospital crisis.

So, before you complain that your kids are fighting in your backyard swimming pool...think of the family of 8 crammed into a terrible public housing apartment. A woman stuck inside with an abusive partner. A family without a car or money to buy groceries normally and suddenly both parents are out of work. And...and...and...

Everyone can and will be affected by this crisis, but not all equally. Count your blessings but don't brag about it. Even as precarious as our situation feels, I know it could be worse (and could get worse) and I try to remind myself of that daily. Accept what is difficult in this moment, look for the silver lining, be grateful for what you have and what is going well. You have a right to be afraid and to breakdown and cry. Take those moments to mourn and then try to move on. Easier said than done, but really, what other choice do we have?

To end on a positive note, some scenes from the week.

Coloring with markers