Dessert Dates

Back in May I told Dan that I wanted us to start a weekly tradition of going out on a simple dessert date once a week. The dessert would be justified by the walk it took to get there and we would have dedicated time together away from our phones and TV.

 

The point was to make a habit of this little weekly date and somehow figure out how to maintain it after the baby arrived.

Dessert dates are simple and cheap. They don't require more than an hour of our time and never cost more than $15 (usually only $6). Is it the healthiest choice? No. But that's why it's a weekly thing and not a nightly thing. We didn't manage one every single week but we've been pretty consistent and I look forward to the time we have together when it works. 

We've mixed it up some weeks and just grabbed something and brought it home, like pints that were on sale at the store. That was the dessert date that kept on giving since the pints lasted several nights.

Or one time I brought home extra special cupcakes from a place by my work.

Sometimes weather crushed our plans or I was too tired to walk anywhere but we would usually just pick another night of the week to make it happen. 

I'm not sure it will work long term or that we can maintain the tradition after the baby arrives but by making it a habit now I feel like we're more likely to spring for the occasion when it presents itself instead of saying "no" because it feels like too much of a luxury. I figure, after the baby we can either tote him along with us (while he is tiny and will sleep anywhere) or have one person run out while the other watches the baby and then we can enjoy the dessert together after the baby is down for the night.

Perhaps it's too ambitious, but my sweet tooth can dream. 

The biggest thing we learned in our marriage counseling is that intimacy can take many different forms and important growth and ongoing connection with someone takes place outside the bedroom more than it does inside. So that's where we're aiming to thrive.

Since Dan and I have nearly three years of marriage under our belts before introducing a baby into our relationship, I sometimes worry that the dramatic change will be somewhat harder than we think. People have warned us. Each couple is different but I wanted to make a tiny effort now to work in special dedicated time with Dan before the baby arrives in case it all disappears with the first dirty diaper.

And then if the dessert dates never return or they only appear once every several months, well, at least we have the memory of them.