2 weeks

I apologize in advance for this very ranty post. I'm just feeling really worn out today.

We are now 38 weeks which means it's the 2-week countdown to the due date. Two weeks still feels SO FAR AWAY. And we don't even know if he will arrive on time. It's highly likely he will be more than two weeks away and I just don't know if I can go much longer.

I'm tired of being constantly uncomfortable. I'm tired of strangers staring and making unwelcome comments. I'm tired of being incredibly self conscious and insecure walking down the street. I'm tired of people at work saying "wow, you're still here? You've been pregnant forever." I'm tired of having to pee every half hour. I'm tired of having only one position I can sleep in. I'm tired of feeling like my skin is going to rip open because my belly is so tight. I'm tired of the heat. I can't stand the trainxiety one more day. I'm sad that Dan and I didn't take a real vacation this summer and that we are both so tired and burned out with work. I'm tired of doing "kick counts" and constantly worrying if he is still moving inside of me. I'm tired of sonogram technicians telling me how to do kick counts as if I'm an idiot and don't know. I can't stand the anticipation of the unknown. I hate that I have to be the office guinea pig and be the first one to handle my maternity leave with an outsourced company as opposed to someone I know in the office. I'm terrified they are going to screw it up and I'll waste half my leave before the baby even gets here.

I'm trying to just be patient and let the little guy come when he is ready because that is what is best for him and I really do want what's best for him. I'm trying to treasure these last weeks with just Dan and me but nothing we like to do is comfortable for me anymore so any outing leaves me exhausted and in pain. We can't spend anymore money and I am SO DONE WITH THIS PREGNANCY, like yesterday.

But, it's Friday. Mandy is coming to hang out this weekend. Tomorrow we get to sleep-in. And maybe, maybe the baby is on his way.