Weekending it

I'm trying really hard to still be consistent with our regular posts, even if there isn't much to report.

I rallied after my low day last week after being super productive at work and it being Friday an all. Mandy met me back at the apartment and we hung out all night, cooked dinner together, and got Thai ice cream for dessert. Dan was at a prayer meeting but joined us later and we all stayed up until midnight.

We slept-in on Saturday, enjoyed a slow morning, and then went on a 4 mile walk around the neighborhood thanks to the cooler temperatures. We went to Artichoke Pizza which has a location in Bay Ridge now and we'd yet to try it.

Afterwards, we grabbed cupcakes and walked around the super wealthy area of our neighborhood and then crashed at home.

We rented Hidden Figures on Amazon Prime which we all loved and recommend. Mandy was going to leave early evening but I convinced her to stay one more night. So we all made dinner together, played a game of Settlers of Catan, and then watched the movie Lion on Netflix. HIGHLY recommend.

Mandy left early Sunday morning and Dan and I headed to church early for set-up. We hit-up Trader Joes afterwards and napped the rest of the afternoon. Then I actually cooked a real meal for dinner. Small victories!

 

It was a low-key weekend with no sign of the baby interested in making his appearance. Both the other women at our church who were due one week AFTER me have delivered their babies so I'm the last one standing. It's a lonely feeling.

I got my bi-annual dental appointment out of the way and the nesting habit as extended to my work and motivated me to finish projects I've been sitting on for ages. The nesting has been happening at home for well over a month now. All the big stuff is out of the way but I still find things to do like topping off the salt and pepper shakers.  Here's to hoping the little guy gets his own sense of motivation this week!

2 weeks

I apologize in advance for this very ranty post. I'm just feeling really worn out today.

We are now 38 weeks which means it's the 2-week countdown to the due date. Two weeks still feels SO FAR AWAY. And we don't even know if he will arrive on time. It's highly likely he will be more than two weeks away and I just don't know if I can go much longer.

I'm tired of being constantly uncomfortable. I'm tired of strangers staring and making unwelcome comments. I'm tired of being incredibly self conscious and insecure walking down the street. I'm tired of people at work saying "wow, you're still here? You've been pregnant forever." I'm tired of having to pee every half hour. I'm tired of having only one position I can sleep in. I'm tired of feeling like my skin is going to rip open because my belly is so tight. I'm tired of the heat. I can't stand the trainxiety one more day. I'm sad that Dan and I didn't take a real vacation this summer and that we are both so tired and burned out with work. I'm tired of doing "kick counts" and constantly worrying if he is still moving inside of me. I'm tired of sonogram technicians telling me how to do kick counts as if I'm an idiot and don't know. I can't stand the anticipation of the unknown. I hate that I have to be the office guinea pig and be the first one to handle my maternity leave with an outsourced company as opposed to someone I know in the office. I'm terrified they are going to screw it up and I'll waste half my leave before the baby even gets here.

I'm trying to just be patient and let the little guy come when he is ready because that is what is best for him and I really do want what's best for him. I'm trying to treasure these last weeks with just Dan and me but nothing we like to do is comfortable for me anymore so any outing leaves me exhausted and in pain. We can't spend anymore money and I am SO DONE WITH THIS PREGNANCY, like yesterday.

But, it's Friday. Mandy is coming to hang out this weekend. Tomorrow we get to sleep-in. And maybe, maybe the baby is on his way. 

OB Breakfasts

Capturing memories here, which I'm sure most people don't care about, but something I don't want to forget.

The amount of doctor's appointments you have to go to when you are pregnant is sort of wild. First it's once a month, then it's by-weekly, and now we are into our weekly appointments. Those plus all the ultrasound appointments. When we first found out I was pregnant I was a little worried about being able to schedule appointments around our work schedules. I wanted to avoid using sick or vacation time for these appointments since saving those days for my maternity leave was really important. Fortunately my OB's office opens at 7:30 am and Dan and I were able to schedule all of our routine visits (except for one) in the early morning before either of us had to be at work!!! Of course we had to get up extra early to factor-in the commuting time, but the OB office is about 10 minutes walk from where I work and next to the subway Dan has to catch to get to his work. So with the frequent early mornings appointments, Dan and I made a habit of getting breakfast together with still plenty left of time for us to get to work.

These breakfast dates were entirely not in line with our no spending austerity but I just decided that we would likely never have the opportunity to enjoy regular breakfast dates again so it became a special treat. Now that our appointments are every week until the baby arrives, it's even more special and I will definitely miss these quiet occasions when they are over.

We always go to Pret a Manger for breakfast because it's fast, affordable, and because hot flaky pastries. Plus their coffee is really good and Dan likes their fresh juice or lemonade selection. Is it the most healthy choice? No. But it could be worse and it's a happy memory and therefore justified.

I've thought a lot lately about how small parts of our routine will be dramatically altered once the baby arrives. We generally don't go on planned "dates" but we do go out a lot which are dates in a sense and I'm trying to treasure those times now and make space for them to continue in some capacity in the future. Weekday breakfast dates might not work so well after the baby but I will look back on them fondly.

Update

Popping-in for a quick update. This week has been wild and I'm not sure when I'll have a chance to post our usual updates.

This past weekend we went back to the hospital for more fetal monitoring. The baby likes to wiggle and squirm a lot when I'm at work which is reassuring but then on the weekends I feel nothing no matter what I try. On Saturday, Mandy was visiting and we installed the car seat in her car and decided to do a test drive to the hospital so she knew how to get there. I was concerned about the lack of baby movements so I spoke to the on-call doctor while we were driving there and she felt like we should go get checked just in case.

Last time this happened Dan and I were in and out of labor triage in less than an hour. This time, we were there for three hours hooked-up to the fetal monitor and watching his heart rate. He still wasn't moving like he had been the previous three days so whether it was due to that or because they were busy, we ended up in the hospital for a long time. Mandy was out in the waiting area and saw eight little newborns leave in the time we had been there!!!

Anyways, eventually the PA came and did a sonogram to check how things were going inside. Apparently it was a biophysical profile which looks for heart rate, fetal movement, muscle tone, amniotic fluid, and practice breathing. We all watched the sonogram for an hour waiting for him to do lung contractions which are practice breaths, apparently. The PA said they like to see 30 seconds of these lung contractions in 30 minutes. Well, in the full hour he didn't do any of them so he only got an 8/10 on the test. Poor little guy. The Dr. on call wasn't too worried since his heart rate was strong, he was moving (even though I couldn't feel it as much), and his amniotic fluid was good. There was a good 10 minutes though where they warned us there was a chance of being induced that day!! We weren't quite ready for that and were all a little relieved to get sent home with instructions to schedule for another biophysical profile on Monday.

We ate a late lunch at the Melt Shop downtown and then drove home.

Dan and I stayed home from church on Sunday and just did nothing.  All day laziness with only a brief break to have a picnic in the park.

The baby was still much less active than he had been when I was at work. I was feeling like I'd rather just have him come early than constantly worry about whether he was alive in there. I scrambled at work on Monday trying to tidy-up tasks, and Dan and I scurried around Monday night getting everything we could think of done in case they decided to induce after the second test. We tidied the apartment, I finished my to-do list, Dan did laundry and assembled the pack n' play for our room. I informed my work that I might be taking my leave early and then we woke up this morning nervous but ready for the little guy to arrive if he needed to.

Dan and I went in for the biophysical profile and sonogram before work this morning and the baby passed the test 10/10 in less than 10 minutes. We stayed hooked to the heart monitor for 20 extra minutes to really double check the heart rate which remained steady and then we were sent home. All is well and he is doing fine. Man alive, this baby is so unpredictable already!! And, of course, moving like crazy whenever I'm at work. And so the anticipation just continues to escalate while we try to carry on life like usual but just so desperate to have him in our arms now!

Baby's Room Full Reveal!

Yesterday I shared some of the before photos of the baby's room during the four month transition from the guest room/office to the baby's room.

Today, I'm sharing the AFTER!

Mandy really helped me direct a "theme" for the room. I mainly just wanted a lot of bright colors and I wanted to stay away from the traditional nursery pastel themes (although those are equally cute). I want the room to grow with him so something that fit a toddler more than a newborn. So, it's sort of a non-theme but it still came together rather seamlessly.

The room has two windows but really only one is functional as the other has a massive fire escape grate over it which we are not allowed to move. So we just keep the curtain down on that one and open the window by the futon for light. Blackout curtains are a gift from God and I seriously consider them one of the best inventions on the planet. These gray ones are from Amazon.

In the space between the wall and the futon we have a colorful baby gate that folds accordion style and will be used for baby corralling in the future. The Rock n' Play is over there too which will likely end up in the living room once baby arrives.

This little plush giraffe we found at Home Goods.

The colorful bedding on the futon is from Century 21, the gray pillows are old from IKEA, and the ABC blanket is Aden + Anais

Above the dresser we added some more shelves for prints and trinkets. My intention is to have toys on these shelves that he can still play with, like the little cars when he is older. We need prints for the red frames, I was thinking little hand prints and feet? Mandy made the garland and got the "adventure" pennant from her favorite felt store.The cars are from Carter's and the dino print and ceramic brontosaurus are from Hobby Lobby.

On the dresser we have the diaper changing caddy, diaper changing pad, kleenex, and a cute little owl nightlight that is also a sound machine.

We added a small gallery wall above the crib. We need photos for those frames but we sort of need the newborn for those :o). They are hung on heavy duty nails and we used command Velcro on the back of the frames to secure them to the wall. They can't be knocked off or pulled off by little hands.

The print on the left close-up:

Once we have a name picked out, I want to add a letter to the right of the empty frames.

Mandy made the felt ball mobile for the crib which coordinates with the felt ball garlands around the room. The hedgehog blanket is from my mom and the sheets are Target. We got a variety of fun prints for the sheets like robots, elephants, and clouds.

Yes, I know, the boppy pillow does not belong in the crib. It's just there for temporary storage. The baby will be sleeping in our room for the first several weeks so his crib is corralling items in the meantime.  

I'm constantly tweaking items on these shelves and we need a print for the frame. The construction truck on the top shelf is Janod has already gotten a lot of play from little visitors and it's fun because you can take it apart and assemble it with little wooden tools. The bear mug is Target, the ceramic giraffe is a piggy bank from Terri Mom, BB the elephant is the first "toy" we bought for the baby and is currently his only stuffed animal. The little hat was a gift from Aunt Jessy and the print is from a friend, it has a scripture verse on it.

These ABC and 123 prints are from art dot com and are super cute. We also secured them to the wall with the command Velcro so an adult has to yank pretty hard to get them off the wall. I'm sort of paranoid about securing things to the walls so I made sure everything is bolted down, especially the dresser and bookcase.

I added a super soft all-time favorite red blanket to the glider and we got a second boppy as a shower gift. Next to the chair is a storage tote (we got for our wedding) with the little toys we've received.

When he gets to the mobile stage we will need to get a cover for the radiator but it's an unusual size and will require a custom cover which is expensive so we're holding off for the time being.

The bookcase is still pretty sparse and not super organized but that will change as the baby grows and accumulates interests and toys. The bottom two shelves are the baby books he got from the shower. 

A lil bear from Target above the door and the colorful over-door hook is from Amazon for the diaper bag, baby carrier, and eventually his tiny backpack.

We are fortunate that the room is quite large and we were able to fit the crib, a full dresser, the queen size futon, bookcase, and glider chair with plenty of floor space leftover for playing. The turquoise rag rug is from Overstock (last year) and the small gray area rug is from IKEA.

The closet is a shared closet. So it has all our apartment decor totes, my craft stuff, and tubs of tools and Dan's stuff. It should work fine at least until the baby is school age.

I really love the room a lot and it is my favorite in the whole apartment. I can't wait to spend a ton of time in here with our little guy and I hope he likes it too.

Baby's Room BEFORE

The baby's room is finally complete and so I wanted to do a little room progression before the reveal. I've flip flopped between calling it the nursery and just the baby's room. I've settled on "baby's room" rather than "nursery" because it doubles as the guest room and in my mind the term nursery has a certain newborn feel and I wanted the room to feel more like a space to grow.

Anyways, here is the BEFORE of his room as it slowly progressed since March when we started working on it. Initially, it was our spare room/office/storage/craft room.

Then when we started going through the apartment to downsize and purge it turned into a clutter trap.

We decided to paint one wall in the room a light gray for an accent that would be gender neutral (kinda hard to tell in this picture).

We decided to keep the futon in the room because there is enough space for it and that way we can still accommodate guests. Or, sleep in the room with the baby if needed. We also kept the carpet and the bookcase. Everything else was moved out.

We moved the futon to a different location to block an outlet and the bottom of the window. Dan hung some wall shelves for displaying decor, books, frames, etc. And we emptied the bookcase on the opposite wall to make space for all the baby things.

We purged SO MUCH STUFF from all over the apartment including large pieces of furniture like the desk, filing drawers, craft table, TV console, and more. This was one of the purge piles that accumulated.

Dan assembled the dresser and we got some floor lamps to add warm light. I'm not a fan of overhead lights so I wanted a lot of lamps to give a cozy feel.

In April, Terri Mom and Allen Dad got us the glider/rocker and Mandy picked out cute ABC and 123 prints that we framed ourselves and hung above the chair.

Mandy made felt ball garlands to hang along the white valances.

And my parents got us the crib and Dan assembled it.

After the baby shower and some more purging around the apartment we cleaned the room out, set-up all the other items, hung shelves, and decorated. Dan did all the heavy lifting and Mandy really helped with placement and decor. By working on it little by little, it didn't feel like an overwhelming task and as the room came together I loved it more and more.

Finally, this past weekend I feel like we got all the little bits done and now it's just waiting for the baby's arrival. Come back tomorrow for the full reveal!!!

Weekending it

Sorry for any baby anxiety I might have caused by not posting Friday or yesterday. All is well, just busy and I try not to post too much boring nonsense about our lives.

We had a good weekend, not as adventurous as the last few weeks because Mandy was in LA. But Dan and I got a lot of stuff done, the highlight of which was going to a newborn and infant care class in the city on Saturday. It was mainly for Dan and he learned a lot but I liked getting a refresher and feeling reassured about what I know. The instructor was very nice and didn't seem to think my breastfeeding/pumping/bottle/return to work plan in 6 weeks was crazy. I was a little disappointed that she did not think the pump or the bottles we got are the "best" but said they would be "fine." Well, most of my life I've gotten by with "fine" and so we're just gonna go for it. Wishful thinking? Maybe.

Sunday I helped out with the brunch team at church and in the afternoon we finished cleaning the entire apartment and then collapsed into the dark cave of the apartment with the AC blasting. As much as I love the sun and summer, being pregnant in the summer is definitely hard. Everything sticks, clothes are so restrictive, and I just can't get cool. Despite my discomfort, I am NOT wishing for the quick return of fall. I haven't eaten nearly enough ice cream for that yet.

Last Monday I shared my to-do list to stay accountable. Here's where it landed:

Pack the hospital bag CHECK
Make a list of things we need to purchase for the hospital bag CHECK
Finish shower thank you notes (only 4 left!) Still have 2 left
Acquaint yourself with the breast pump (like, at least, take it out of the box) CHECK and I have a friend coming over this week to give me some tips
Take photos of the baby's room for the blog reveal! CHECK! Post reveal this week
Type-up my "birth plan"  CHECK. Still need to print it and put it in the bag
Make two batches of chicken pot pie filling to freeze Fail

So I got a lot done and I even read the entire breastfeeding book I got as a baby shower gift so that was a double bonus I hadn't planned on. I'm feeling much better about that now.

This week's list

Finish shower thank you notes
Baby's room reveal posts
Make two batches of chicken pot pie filling
Finish reading the parenting book we started back in March
Haircut 
Download any labor or newborn care apps recommended by the class instructor

Dear Baby

Dear Baby,

As we get closer and closer to your arrival, I am more and more excited to meet you. To give you a name. To finally hold you in my arms and see your pretty eyes and hear your little noises. To hold your tiny hands and tickle your tiny feet. I can't wait to catch that first smile and feel my heart warm with the sound of your laugh. It will all be so, so good.

As I write this, it's hard to imagine that it's actually you inside my belly moving around. A real live person in there! Mostly your movements have stressed me out the entire pregnancy. I didn't feel you moving until well after 22 weeks. You gave us that scare at 27 weeks. And then yesterday the Dr. couldn't find your heartbeat for several grueling moments. And then it was so slow before speeding up. Since then I've gone crazy counting every single movement to make sure you're doing okay. On the one hand I wish I wasn't so worried about you but on the other hand I just can't bare to think about coming this far and not holding you in my arms. Stay with us, baby. We're nearly there.

I'm trying really hard to treasure this very moment because we, you and me, are as physically close to one another as we will ever be in your entire life. After you are born and for the rest of your life you will forever be moving farther and farther away, little by little. That thought makes me sad and makes me want to hold onto these last few weeks for as long as possible. To keep you safe and content inside my belly where all your needs are met with such little effort from me. Once you are born, your needs will be so much greater and I won't be able to meet them with as much ease. I might disappoint you, and I'm sorry for that.

Life will be wild, but I promise we'll have fun along the way! Daddy will make you laugh and he'll teach you how to be a gentleman. He will teach you integrity and unconditional love because those are his character strengths and the things that make me love him the most. And I hope you are just like him in those ways. I'll teach you how to be creative and imagine worlds beyond you and lock away special moments in your mind. I hope you are just like me in those ways. We will both teach you how to be silly, because life is just plain hard if you can't goof-off on occasion.

And I hope you like snuggling, because we like to snuggle. I hope you'll crawl into our bed some mornings and we'll just all jumble together waiting for the sleepiness to leave us and get ready for the day. I hope you'll still like chips and sour cream and I hope you love chocolate so you and I can go on special chocolate dates that Daddy would hate. He can teach you basketball, that will be his special thing...you and me can just eat chocolate :o)

I hope you grow to know and love Jesus, to feel Him in your heart and follow Him with your life. I hope we can teach you how to do that and help you to grow into an honorable and Godly man.

I just love you so, so much and I didn't think that was possible before you were even born. We'll see you soon little guy!

Love forever,
Momma

June Napkin Notes

My June stash of Napkin Notes from Dan:

My Favorite:

I don't deserve him. He is far too sweet to me.

A few weeks ago I was messaging with a woman on Facebook after connecting with her on a mom's group. We are total strangers but she was asking for advice about her relationship and I suggested she look into marriage counseling and offered to recommend the counselor Dan and I see on occasion. As we were private messaging for awhile my heart just broke for her and her situation. The way she said she was being treated by her partner was just horrendous and I felt so sad for her and so guilty at the same time because I realized how blessed I am to have such a loving and supportive spouse in Dan.

Dan would never, in a million years, even think about treating me the way this woman is being treated. I appreciate the moments that God takes me out of my self-absorbed bubble and I see my life from a different perspective. I'm incredibly grateful for how well he loves me and only hope I can be half of the servant lover he is to me.

Terri Mom's Pull-Apart Rolls

I'm linking up with Andrea today to share a favorite recipe.

Every single time we go back to Kansas to visit Dan's family, his mom and aunts make him pull-apart rolls. I would compare them to monkey bread. They are bready, brown sugar cinnamon-y, nutty, yummy, and full of love. Dan could eat an entire pan.

I've never been able to make the rolls for Dan because they require frozen yeast dinner rolls which are not stocked in any grocery store I've seen in our area. So Dan has to wait until we travel halfway across the country in order to enjoy them.

But, now that Mandy lives in New Jersey I asked her to check her grocery store to see if they had any and miracle of miracles the suburbs delivered!! So she got us a bag and we made Dan his beloved pull-apart rolls for his birthday breakfast.

This is Terri Mom's recipe (for those who are new around here, Terri Mom is the name I have for Dan's mom) 

The Stuff
- Half a bag (about 16-18) frozen Rhodes dinner rolls (Do NOT defrost)
- 1 package of butterscotch pudding (NOT the instant variety)
- 3/4 cup brown sugar
- 1 cup chopped pecans 
- 1 teaspoon of ground cinnamon 
- 6 Tablespoons of butter 
- Non-stick spray and a Bundt pan 

 
Get Bakin'

- Liberally spray your Bundt pan with non-stick spray
- In the bottom of the pan, distribute your chopped nuts 

- Evenly distribute your frozen dinner rolls on top of the nuts. 
NOTE: the photos below show a pan with the entire bag of rolls in it. Do NOT use the entire bag, only use 16-18 rolls per batch. I added the whole bag when I made this and then I texted Terri Mom and she said to remove half of the rolls otherwise they will overflow the pan when the rolls rise. Crisis averted.  

- Sprinkle the pudding powder over the dinner rolls 

- In a saucepan, combine the butter, brown sugar, and cinnamon. Heat until the butter is melted. DO NOT BOIL (I got really close). 

 
- Pour the butter mixture over the rolls

 

- Place the rolls in a COLD oven and let it sit overnight. The rolls will rise and in the morning it will look like this:

Yeah, see how the rolls are overflowing from the pan? Can you imagine what would have happened if we hadn't taken out some of the rolls the night before? So, make sure you only use 16-18 rolls. I just poked those rolls on top a bit and pushed them back into the pan.

- Leave the rolls in the oven and turn the oven on to 350 F and set your timer for 30 minutes. The oven will preheat with the rolls inside and then the rolls will bake.
- Let the rolls cool for 10 minutes in the pan before inverting the Bundt onto the tray.

- Enjoy the warm, buttery, nutty, sugary delight

Despite all my errors during this first attempt, they tasted pretty darn close to when Terri Mom makes them.

For other recipes I've shared on the blog click HERE.