See ya February!

February is a rough month.  The weather is all wacky.  Everyone is tired of winter but Spring is still really far away.  You've lost that "new year" motivation and things are gross.  There are a couple of tiny holidays spread in there but they just don't pack as much cheer as the other winter holidays.  

Honestly, it's been a hard month outside of the usual February nastiness.  A lot of feelings, way too much emotion, overwhelming expectations, pressure, anxiety, general discontented feelings.  Even death.  Life has been really bumpy for us right now, but marriage has been a blessing.  And that's a good and encouraging thing amid what otherwise feels like utter chaos.

This weekend Dan and I did a little overnight trip and stayed in a hotel in downtown Brooklyn.  We did this exact thing a year ago and went to the circus the next day.  It was so much fun we decided to repeat it except this year we opted to blow our full wallets on spring shopping instead of going to the circus.  On Friday night we met at the hotel and then headed to dinner at the Mexican restaurant next door.  It was really dark in there but had a neat ambiance.

We got margaritas (or virgin for me - hate tequila).  Shared queso fundito and "authentic" fajitas which were nothing like normal fajitas.  It was all really yummy and different.  After dinner we picked up dessert at the drug store around the corner (like we did last year) and headed back to the room.  We visited the hot tub for a bit which was super nice because last year it was filled with kids.  Then we rented "Bridge of Spies" on demand in the room after not finding much to watch on cable.

We slept in and enjoyed the massive king sized bed.  We got breakfast at Panera and then shopping along the street mall (just like last year).  It's amazing the wonders of retail therapy for a girl. 

I'm sure at some point in the future we will look back at these expensive overnights and think "what an epic waste of money" and at the same time wish we had the opportunity to do it again.   We splurged.  It was our greenbone for surviving February. 

My elation for the start of March tomorrow cannot be understated.  February, I don't want to see your ugly face for a whole year!  Got it?  Thank goodness it's the shortest month of all.

Vows and the importance of snuggling

I'm a snuggler by nature.  Loved to snuggle with my family, had like 9 million stuffed animals on my bed as a kid, needed lots of blankets and pillows on my bed in college, crave crevices and nooks in sleeping arrangements.  The warm embrace of a tight and genuine hug means a lot to me.  Security, acceptance, love.  When Dan and I were dating I had to teach him how to snuggle but it was in his nature too and he caught on quickly.  Since that point, I have always felt like I "fit" into his embrace like a puzzle piece.  In this way, platonic touch intimacy formed a huge foundation for our relationship.

When we wrote our wedding vows we added a bit about snuggling one another.  We had our pastor at the time review them and he told us to remove the word snuggle because it was inappropriate in the vows - that it didn't relate to a lifelong commitment.  We thought about it.  We waffled, I mean we're people pleasers and I didn't want anyone to think of us in a weird way or to suggest our vows didn't mean anything or were inappropriate.  But ultimately we decided to leave the wording the way we wrote it because, as I explained to him, snuggling (or the act of settling into a warm and comfortable position) was really important to us.  Sometimes, because we are introverts, it's hard for us to verbally express ourselves - to show our love and support with words.  If there ever came a point in our marriage when we could not tolerate to be physically near in a nonsexual way, then, yes, we would be breaking our vows.  Our ability to be close and comfortable with one another means just as much as our fidelity.   After all, the opposite of snuggling means "to move away, separate, remove yourself."

Ever since we got married, Dan and I made an effort to re-read our wedding vows on the 30th of every month.  We did a really good job remembering.  We only slipped once - January 30th this year.  That day was awful and everything else crowded into our life and rereading the vows got pushed right out.  Neither of us remembered.  About a week later when I realized we had missed it I was really disappointed and even more mad about the circumstances that boiled over that day and which I blame for our oversight.  As we get closer to the end of February and what marks our 18 month anniversary (if there was such a thing as February 30th), I am thinking a lot about our vows and trying to make sure we remember to read them this month.  But then it occurred to me, despite how yucky this month has been and how much my heart feels weighed down by what has happened, it's the first time that I've recognized just how much we've lived out those vows this month.  We didn't need to repeat them we were doing them.  And let me tell you, snuggling played a big part in that.

[Dan/Stephanie]  God brought us together so that even when there are ups and downs in life, with you I have someone to share them with.  To hold, to laugh, to cry, and to love through all of it.  And I don’t want it any other way.  

Dan, you are a man of God.  My best friend.  A partner who is not only hilarious and handsome but strong and sensitive.  You have taught me how to love others more and how to try and love myself.  To trust in God and to try to let go of insecurities and control.  You mean so much to me that all words seem too small capture it, I need a lifetime to show it.

Stephanie, you are so precious to me.  I love how during the time that I have known you, you have always cared for me, supported me, and loved me even when I have a hard time loving myself.  God has given me someone so special and as God tells us to love Him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength I will love you that same way.  

As your [husband/wife], I promise to support you, encourage you, snuggle you, open my heart to you, and care for you every single day for the rest of our lives. 

Weekending it

The weather was SO nice this weekend.  Sunny and warm, for February, and such a nice change from last weekend when it was in the negatives.

Saturday I went to a church ladies brunch.  I got up early to make mini heart-shaped chocolate chip scones.  I used this recipe.

There was so much food and a good turnout of ladies.

Dan took two littles for a single mom so she could attend.  He met up with another dad and his kids to play at the park.  Good practice.

In the afternoon Dan and I went to IKEA to get a new office desk for him.  Unfortunately one part of the desk was out of stock which was a major bummer but we picked up what we could and some other small things.  We didn't spend a dime since we still had gift cards leftover from wedding gifts!!  The journey back home was labor intensive.  The R train wasn't running so we had to do a runaround to get back while hauling all the stuff from IKEA.  We chilled the rest of the night.

On Sunday we took a bunch of the teens in the Youth Group to Prospect Park to go ice skating directly after church.  Again, a transit nightmare requiring us to take shuttle buses and a couple of trains but worth the trip especially since the weather was ideal.

This was the second time Dan and I visited this rink. Our first time was back here and I complained about their set-up.  Apparently we were supposed to sign a waver and get wrist bands but had no idea since you did that in the skate rental line.  Woops.  We didn't get back home until 5 pm so that made for a super long day. 

It's the last week of February and I am thrilled.  March approaching gives my spirit hope for spring. 

Peeks from the Week

Phew!  Friday finally.   Wish this could be me all weekend.

Even though this was a short week it felt long.  On Monday I had so many chores to do because we were too cold and burrowed inside to do anything.  I hauled about 8 loads to laundry down the block and the wheel on our granny cart broke mid journey.  I must have looked pretty pathetic dragging that cart and trying to keep all the bags from falling out.  Eesh

Laundry is a "grass is always greener" situation.  Lots of people hate constant and endless laundry. I would like the option of doing laundry constantly, one load a day no big deal.  Since we are in an apartment we have to take ours to a laundromat and since I don't get home from work until 7 pm we don't have time to do it at night.  So that leaves all the laundry for the weekend.  Yuck.

That night I decided I wanted to cook a real and good meal for us as a surprise belated Valentine's Day treat.  I was so lazy over the weekend that I just made blue box mac for our romantic dinner.  I needed to redeem my wife skills.  So, I walked to the store with our new granny cart.  It was snowing and super slushy but I persevered.  On the way back, a drunk man exposed himself and peed on the sidewalk while yelling obscenities.  Sigh.  Sometimes I hate New York.

I made the Pioneer Woman's chicken Alfredo pasta with her roasted cherry tomatoes recipe and toasted bread.  It was super yum and we had tons leftover for lunches.

Nothing much happened the rest of the week.  The weather is swinging wildly between 30s and 50s.  It's hard to dress in the morning.  This weekend I have a church brunch and then we plan to go to IKEA to get a new work desk for Dan.  I have a fun idea for changing the format of my Peeks post so look for that soon.

Also, I'm not keeping this blog private much longer.  No one puts baby in a corner.

Weekending it

This weekend was so cold.  Like a low of 1 degree before windchill.  I had no interest in going outside - so we didn't.

Saturday we stayed in bed really late.  There was no sense in getting ready to go nowhere.  We had leftover pizza in bed for breakfast.

Eventually we got around and played some games to pass the time.  We got invited over to a friends house for dinner so we bundled up and walked the 12 blocks to their place.  It was fun to hang with them and their kids.  Dan and I brought dessert to share.

On Sunday, Valentine's Day, I woke up and there was a cute post-it love letter on the TV.  So sweet.

Church was actually really well attended despite the cold outside.  As a reference for the cold, below is a photo of the inside of the window in our living room.  That is a solid piece of ice on the window sill on the inside.  Quality.

After church Dan and I decided to go out for lunch.  I was craving a burger.  It was great except the inside of the restaurant was so cold.  Even the insides couldn't get warm enough to cut the extreme cold.

Then we delivered a care package to friends who are sleep training their babe this week.  It included dark chocolate, ice cream, ear plugs, and a gift card for a date night once the baby is trained.

When we finally got home Dan presented me with another valentine and my favorite candies.  It was a super sweet surprise.

I failed.  I didn't get Dan anything.  Clearly I'm thriving at life right now.  I made him blue box mac and cheese for dinner? 

I get the day off from work today.   Dan doesn't.  Big bummer.  I've got chores to do all day since I did nothing all weekend.  Happy Monday.

Peeks from the Week

(delayed posting - meant to post Friday)

It was a rough commuting week for me.  On Monday night my R train wasn't running into lower Manhattan so I had to take a 5 train.  I do not care for the number trains, they are narrow and always crowded.  The train I got on was extremely crowded because of the issues on the R line.  I was sardines next to a young man (likely my age) and he kept giving me the side-eye.  I looked down to avoid eye contact and there I saw he had a handgun sticking out of his pants.  It was absolutely horrifying and absolutely illegal.  It was less than a foot away from me.  He wasn't even trying to hide it, he would periodically put his hand on it!!! I didn't know what to do since it was crowded train and I couldn't exactly walk away.  Fortunately he got off at the next stop and I continued on my merry way but it was not a fun experience for me.

On Friday my R train was suppppperrrrr slow because of a switch malfunction somewhere farther down the line.  I eventually switched to an F train and then to an A train and then walked a good 10 blocks to my office building.  Now, on the whole, I'd say my commute is easy.  I have a 5 min walk from our apartment to the R train and I typically get a seat and then just stay on that same train for 30 or so minutes and then walk the rest of the way to work.  It's usually on time and usually not crazy crowded.  But there are days when the subway system is rough and this week it really struggled.

On to happier news, it's Friday and a three day weekend with Valentine's Day thrown in for fun!  The weekend is supposed to be bitter cold (like 3 degrees is a low for Sunday) but I'm looking forward to sleeping-in and making a fun Valentine's themed class for my pre-k/kinder kids on Sunday.  Last night Dan and I cut out a bunch of hearts on colored paper and wrote loving messages to each other and then heart-attacked the wall in the living room.

We probably won't do much of anything for Valentines' day for each other.  I already bought our favorite candies and we've already eaten some. 

Decorating Details - Valentine's Day

One bummer about taking the blog private is you can't link up with other people and post with other themed series.  I'll miss that.  But I can still write posts that could link-up.  So today, Valentine's decor!

I put together some crafty Valentine's last night but I don't want to spoil the surprise so just keep your eye on the mail. 

Welcome back

Hi!  We're back, well sort of.  Sorry for any confusion anyone experienced with the invitation over the weekend to a different blog.  I started a separate new blog to keep private but I agreed that leaving Tons and Bunches entirely was too hard - so much history.  So then I decided to just make Tons and Bunches private and use the new template I bought as a fresh new look.  Going private is definitely not what I wanted for blogging but it's the right choice to make right now.

Now for our regularly scheduled weekending it post!

This weekend was social heavy.  On Friday night Dan went out with this law office boss and I met with a friend for some counsel.  It was a late night for both of us.

On Saturday we met friends at Brooklyn Flea and Smorgasbord.  It's a trendy flea market and food fair type thing which has a few locations.  One just opened up only 5 stops on our local train.  There were a lot of hipsters there and we didn't feel like we fit in but we managed.  We got some tasty food and explored the booths.  The junk toy stall was my favorite.

That night cousins Kaleigh and Kourtney returned to our hood for Indian food.  It was a small celebration for their one year anniversary of moving to NYC.  It was great to catch-up with them, enjoy yummy food, and then they introduced us to a new board game they got called 7 Wonders.

Sunday Dan helped me in my pre-k class and it went pretty well.  We are trying some new things to hopefully help the class time run more smoothly.  After church Dan went to see an ice hockey game at the Barclay's Center and I went home to prep for our Super Bowl Party.

I've never hosted a Super Bowl Party but I think we did pretty good.  I made brownies, rice krispie treats, caramel fruit dip, and a ton of chili. We had lots of chips and dip and tons of drinks including a Champagne punch that a friend made.  We ended up having around eight people come which was a good turnout and didn't feel overly crowded.  So much food was leftover but the game was good and I think everyone had a good time.  I liked the halftime show but the commercials were a little blah.

Yesterday was also my half birthday (and Mandy's too).  Dan surprised me with a half a birthday card and some of my favorite candies.  It's been a really rough week in so many ways and I am ever more grateful to have Dan by my side in life.