Peeks from the Week

Although there isn't much to share from this week, I felt like it was important to note something about the terrorist attack in NYC this week. While I'm doing my maternity leave arrangement, I'm typically not in the office on Tuesdays. But this week I happened to be at work due to a mandatory meeting. It was a nice day. Good weather and generally good cheer in the office since it was Halloween. Everything was normal.

At around 3:15 pm we started hearing a lot of sirens outside. I honestly didn't notice the fact that it was a lot more sirens than normal. Then everyone started congregating around the office windows facing the West Side Highway. The traffic was completely stopped and NYPD patrol cars and unmarked police vehicles were pushing north through the gridlock. Initial rumors were of a shooting, then kids trapped on a school bus, then a road rage accident. Everyone was denying terrorism. I work at the 9/11 Memorial and the attack on Tuesday ended three blocks from my office. My friend had walked past that intersection only minutes before the truck hit the bus and ended the event. We were put on lock down until more information was known but by 5 pm everything was back to normal. It wasn't until I got home from work that I learned it was a confirmed terrorist attack.

It was concerned, of course, but I wasn't exactly afraid. I wanted to get home and hug Kippy and Dan but I wasn't panicked or emotional. I've worked down in the trade center area for over six years now. I think about 9/11, the victims, and the aftermath regularly. And it has changed me. In some ways I've become calloused, a common coping mechanism to guard your heart from tragedy. And that is at the root of New Yorkers being called "resilient" in the media. It's not so much resiliency but a normalization of terror.

While alarming and worrisome, truthfully, I don't feel any more vulnerable or any less safe here. This is our home and where we want to be. Wherever you are and whatever your circumstances, none of us are promised tomorrow. I'm even more aware of that fact now that I'm a mom. And I say that not to sound indifferent or insensitive, but to offer perspective.

Live your life without regrets. Show more grace and forgiveness towards others and towards yourself. Don't live in fear but look forward to tomorrow, however many tomorrows you may have.

“Don't be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live.” - Natalie Babbitt, Tuck Everlasting