Show and Tell Tuesday: Steal & Splurges

I'm happy about participating in Andrea's Show and Tell Tuesday link-up again this year. I'm hoping to have something relevant for the majority of the prompts this time around.

Today we're sharing Steal & Splurges: How your family saves what you feel is worth the splurge.

Living in New York is expensive. This, everyone knows. In reality it is primarily the real estate (rent or mortgage) which is outrageous and the grocery store prices are slightly higher as well. It's the price you pay for living in a city with tremendous amenities? The standard rule is to spend about 30% of your gross (before taxes) monthly income on housing. But that rule doesn't take into account the cost of living in certain cities. This is an interesting article to check out. That being said, most of our income goes to paying the rent. But we're used to it and have learned other ways of saving.

Dan and I were both raised in frugal households. Saving and pinching was normal, so normal that we didn't really know a difference. Would I say I liked not being able to get whatever I wanted when I was a kid? Heck no. I used to cry about wanting my dad to be like Daddy Warbucks. But, as an adult I really value that my parents raised me to understand the value of earning and saving. When we have kids, we plan to raise them the same way.

Until recently, we didn't watch expenses too carefully. We didn't spend crazy but I didn't think twice if I wanted to get a new tablecloth at TJMaxx. In the fall when we stepped away from Dan's salary at the church, we took a big hit to our monthly income. At that time I watched that monthly amount much more carefully and we cut all unnecessary spending (we called it the austerity plan).  Fortunately, just cutting those little trips to Old Navy or going out to eat more than once a week has been enough prevent too much budget shock after losing an income. Dan picked-up an extra day at the law office he works at part-time and that's has helped to make-up some of the difference. Also, our insurance and my retirement are taken out of my paycheck before I even see it. So I don't worry about any of that. It's gone before I can even miss it. Dan sets money aside every year in his own retirement fund. If we happen to be gifted money throughout the year or Dan gets a bonus at work - it goes into savings and we might skim a tiny amount for having fun.

These are our general cost saving rules:

Treats and Eating Out

Things like Starbucks are occasional treats, NOT an every day purchase. Same goes for eating out. If we do go out we try to keep the total bill around $25 so that means we eat at Chipotle or Chick-fil-a more often than sit-down places. I do like eating out so we splurge no more than once a week if we have a coupon or gift card. Also, pizza is cheap and I'm just as excited about that as I am fancy pasta with waiter service.

3 Square Meals

I bring breakfast and a sack lunch to work everyday and Dan gets his lunch provided by his boss or he brings one. Lunch dates are a rare treat. Things become more special the less often they happen. For dinner, I meal plan on Saturday or Sunday and we do our weekly grocery shopping on Sunday afternoon. We have some standard pantry items like spaghetti sauce and chili fixings always on hand for weeks when we "run out" of food. I will not go to the grocery store more than once a week if I can help it.

Clothes

Clothing items are purchased on sale and no new items go into the closet without older items leaving. We dress pretty exclusively in Old Navy, Gap Factory, and other discount retailers. We both have summer birthdays so it's perfect timing between b-days and Christmas to ask for new shoes or clothes as presents. I almost always clothes shop with coupons. We are not and will never be boutique shoppers. We just aren't classy like that. I'd rather have 10 shirts than 1 shirt for the same price.

Amazon 

Amazon Prime is an essential asset.  It is SO convenient living in the city. We have one nearby Target but we rarely ever go there because it is crazy crowded and we have to haul everything on the Subway. Also, shopping Prime helps me reduce impulse buys. Once a month, or every other month, we make one Prime Pantry order for items like toilet paper, Lysol wipes, and bulk items that are expensive to buy in the stores here (for example Nature Valley granola bars are about $5 a box at our local store. They are $2 on Prime Pantry). Our Amazon credit card is the only credit card we have. We use it for Amazon purchases and other large expenses like plane tickets. The bill gets paid every month.

Vacation

Since we live far away from both of our families, most of our vacation time and travel money is spent visiting them. And we are fine with that. Neither of us are travel addicts.  Every spring we take a bus trip to some place along the East Coast (Philly, DC, Boston) for a weekend. Every summer we take a beach trip to some place along the Jersey Shore for our anniversary. Other days off we spend locally.

Mad Money

This winter we started a new rule for Mad Money. We used to just swipe our debit cards whenever but now we each get $20 cash at the beginning of the month to spend as we please. Once it's gone you have to wait until next month for more. This I feel like is a little tight and restrictive but I also like the challenge of seeing how much I can have left at the end of the month. I keep track of all debit card purchases and bill pay on a spreadsheet and color code all expenses so we know where the money is going.

Laundry and extra expenses

We have $60 a month for laundry and package pick-up. Any leftover at the end of the month is a little extra mad money for a date or take-out! That's a special splurge.

Debt

We have no debt. We paid off my student loans in 2015 and never looked back. We don't have a car and we WILL NEVER buy a home in NYC. My philosophy is "owe nothing to no one."

Entertainment

You can't live near NYC and not take advantage of the awesome sights and entertainment. We pick and choose what we want and always look for the cheapest options. We go direct to the box office to purchase tickets to avoid the online fees. Also so much of what the city has to offer is free, you just need to be willing to ride the subway and brave the crowds. It's no secret that we love Broadway so that is our biggest splurge but we also know our way around cheap options. See our tips here.

Dan and I like nice things but nice doesn't mean expensive. And we don't feel like we're missing out on anything. That's the key. Be happy with what you have and work towards what you want. Don't look too hard at other people and wonder how they do it. "Comparison is the thief of joy."

We are thrifty and careful with our money but I always say, you can't take any of it with you. On the day you die would you rather have a huge amount in the bank or a treasure load of memories from all the fun things you did? Your kids won't remember all the toys and clothes they had, they'll remember the time you spent with them. So be smart but don't be afraid to enjoy what you've earned.