Peeks from the Week

I didn't do a weekend update on Monday. Apologies. Sometimes simple tasks are just too overwhelming right now. A lot has changed this week. New Jersey closed it's park, so the nice trail stroll we had last weekend was unknowingly our last.

I had my scheduled OB appointment moved to Telemed again. The baby has not been evaluated in over a month. The telemed appointment was fine. We met a new doctor at the practice and she was nice. Hospital policy at the moment is both partners get masked and tested when they arrive. If Dan is positive he will be turned away. If Dan is negative he can come to the delivery.  He can stay in the delivery room through the birth and two hours after delivery. If he leaves the room for any reason he will not be allowed back in the room. So, no ice chip service. After the baby is born he has to leave. I will be transferred to recovery for 24 hours with the baby. No visitors. If the baby is fine after 24 hours, we can get discharged early. If I'm positive when we get to the hospital I have to labor with a mask on and they will advise on how to breastfeed the baby via pumping. At least I have experience with that. The one thing I am tremendously grateful for is that this is my second birth and I have some knowledge of what happens and what needs to be done. Do I have exponential anxiety? Yes, but I have no choice.

Work from home has become increasingly more difficult. As stress mounts for bosses and added pressure about the financial situation of the institution builds, people are more impatient than usual. For my particular work, I have plenty to do remotely. This is not the case for some of the people above me. In their lack of work/boredom they are creating more work for me. Also, there is age-related technical difficulties for most of the upper level managers which causes frustrations down the line. Then you add meaningless phone meetings to the day and anyone wonders why nothing is being accomplished. OH AND, we all have to turn-in "work logs" to outline what we did all week. Add to, I am one of two people in my entire department that is a parent. There is little to no compassion or understanding for this added stress in the current environment. Thank God for Mandy and all the help she has given us during this time but even with her here, it's hard to full-time parent and full-time work. It just can't be done without concessions on either end. I nearly quit from frustration yesterday and I've yelled at Kip more in the last few weeks than I have combined in his entire life. I feel like a terrible parent, partner, sister, employee, and human. Yeah and being nearly 8 months pregnant.

This is hard. It's hard for everyone. We all want it to end soon.

Plans for this weekend are hairy. We hoped to go for a walk. Now we don't know where we can go to do that. We hoped to get to the store. Now we aren't sure if going on the weekend is a good idea. But when else can we go? New York stores are not taking precautions. We only want to shop in New Jersey where they've been mandated by the Governor to address crowd control. Is it worth it?

Sunday is Easter. We have church online. We have a small basket of goodies for Kip and a little inside egg hunt to set-up. Maybe we'll make a cake. Jessy was supposed to be visiting us this weekend. Her trip was canceled. We missed seeing Dan's parents last month. Our babymoon was canceled. The comedy show we bought tickets for was cancelled. The Auto Show was replaced by a field hospital at the convention center. I don't know if I'll ever muster the courage to get on a subway train again. What is life? [Insert your own hopeful Easter message here, I don't have one]. Happy Friday!