So long paci

We hit a major milestone over here this week.

After three years and five months of daily use, Kip has stopped using a pacifier!!! 

On the day he was born I was opposed to introducing a pacifier because all those new mom books said you didn't want to be involved in having to break that habit. But when we brought Kip home from the hospital, Mandy popped a paci in Kip's mouth and we never looked back. 

Nearly three and a half years later, I have no regrets about his pacifier. They brought so much comfort to him and were tiny little magical pieces of plastic that seemed to soothe anything. They helped him fall asleep, helped him regulate big emotions during major tantrums, and this past year they brought him through major life transitions. 

 

 

I took those adorable photos last year when Kip turned two and a half. He was being a little comedian and posing like that after I asked him for a photo without the pacifiers. At the time, I was thinking we'd need to ditch the things pretty soon. But we were working on the big bed transition at that time and then potty training. Well then in March, Covid hit and his entire life and routine and expectations changed. After that we were all trying to adjust to a new reality along with the anticipated arrival of Ivy. I didn't want the loss of his pacifier to be associated, in any way, with the new baby. So we waited. Then, summer passed and Kip turned three and then we moved to New Jersey. The pacifier, without a doubt, helped Kip to adjust to his new sister and then his new room and new home.  

I could list a million excuses for why he still had a pacifier until last week but, that's not the point. It worked for him. It worked for us and I didn't have the heart to take them away. When he decided he was ready to let them go, it was on his terms. My hope is that his control over the moment gave him confidence when a different scenario may have left him sad and struggling.

How it actually happened was quite surprising. Back several months ago we introduced the idea of giving up the pacifiers. He was strongly opposed so we kept it casual and just told him to tell us when he was ready. We'd occasionally talk about a paci fairy coming and leaving him a present and a party when he decided to let the paci go. It's the same concept as the tooth fairy. You leave the pacis and she brings a gift in exchange. Kip would bring it up on his own every once in awhile but it never really went anywhere. Then after Christmas Kip decided that he needed a particular LEGO Duplo train set. He talked about it for days. We told him he could get it for his birthday. But then we realized the train was no longer available and any left on Amazon were hugely overpriced. We worried that if we waited for his birthday (six months away) we'd never be able to get it. So Dan and I thought if we could get the train it might be enough motivation for Kip to drop the pacis in exchange for it. 

The kid is hugely train obsessed and we were banking on that obsession outweighing the paci obsession. 

Last week I found the train on eBay for significantly less than Amazon. I got it and figured we'd hold onto it for the right moment. We talked about the fairy bringing Kip the train and asked him what else he wanted. He picked a Gobi stuffed animal (from Over the Moon) and strawberry cake. Well, Kip has a knack for requesting things that are no longer available. The Gobi toy was no longer in stores and also hugely overpriced on Amazon. But, that didn't deter generous Aunt Mimi. She bought the Gobi toy so we had everything in hand. 

Last week we tried one night without the paci and it totally backfired. We kept it chill and just told him that he'd have to wait for the train until he was ready to let the pacis go. Then on Monday night, Mandy put Kip to bed and put the pacis on the night side table and told Kip they were there if he needed them. He said he didn't. It took him awhile to fall asleep but all throughout the night I checked on him and he never took the pacis. I was shocked! So we left a little treat from the fairy as extra motivation.

The following night he kissed his pacis goodbye and we left them on the table.

 

 

He took a bit to fall asleep but every time we asked if he wanted the paci he said no. The next morning we had a little party.

The toy is obnoxiously large but it did the trick.

We are on night five of no paci. Kip is doing just fine. Sure it's taking a significantly longer amount of time for him to fall asleep (30 mins- 2 hours) and he is waking up early. But, every day it's getting a little better. He is doing great when you recognize he is breaking a habit he's had since birth. No tearful pleads and no paci related tantrums. Me? I'm sad. The paci was his last little bit of babyhood and part of me wants him to still be the little guy rubbing the back of his head and sucking on his pacifier. But, I'm really proud of him for doing it and I hope he is too.

Meanwhile, we're on the same path with Ivy so I expect we'll cross this milestone again.