This week Facebook reminded me that exactly eight years ago I was here in New York City as a little undergrad exploring the world open to me while participating in a History Scholars program with Gilder Lehrman. I made so many important decisions that summer, the primary one being to apply for a graduate program at NYU with the hopes of moving to NYC after I graduated from Cornell College. And I did, because I kicked-butt at life back then.
That exact same summer, Dan moved from Kansas to Brooklyn to start as an intern at Crossroads. We were so close (geographically) and yet so far apart.
Neither of us could have possibly envisioned what was ahead. Just dreams that had nothing to do with each other that eventually collided. What will we think of today in eight years??
It's a swirly world in my brain this week. 2016 just hasn't been my best year and through a combination of a lot of things, I've become a much more guarded person in nearly all aspects of my life. It's an increasingly suffocating place to be and, while very uncomfortable, I've convinced myself that it's what I deserve and what is best. That somehow, I can't be me because that's not what other people want. The tiny part of me that rages against this new place is all together too tired to do anything about it. I recognize it's entirely contrary to my so-called mantra to "Be Your Own Rainbow" and that makes me feel very sad.
But anyways, it's sunny and it's Friday! So grab your got-it-together mask and head to the beach! That's our plan for tomorrow and it very well could be the only chance we get this summer, so we better make use of this 97 degree weather.
Stephanie,
ReplyDeleteI'm glad the valance makes you happy. My advice to you is always be YOU. You are a wonderful, fun, witty, smart and caring woman. I love you. Terri Mom