Ivy May - A Birth Story

Well, it's been just over two weeks since we welcomed home Ivy and I think it's time to make a real effort to get back on the blogging band wagon. Although, I will say, having a toddler and a newborn plus still being in an epicenter of the pandemic has made my "free time" nearly nonexistent so I'll hope you'll bare with me if I can't get back to regularly posting.

Today, I'm going to share about Ivy's birth story. I love reading other birth stories if only to see how each one is different and yet the end result is always the same - bringing a little life into the world. It truly is remarkable and I never appreciated it until I experienced it myself.

We had a scheduled induction for Saturday, May 16, at 10:00 pm. The late arrival was so that hopefully the medication would work overnight and my doctor would be available to deliver the next day. That Saturday was gorgeous spring weather so we went to a green area in Staten Island to get some socially distanced fresh air.

Ugh. The masks. What is life even right now??

As the day grew later I started feeling more and more anxious about that night. I was feeling some sadness for the anticipated loss. Of course I was excited to meet our baby and finally have her in our arms but I was also feeling sad about the transition. Loss for the routine we had made in the last two months of quarantine. Loss for my time with just Kip. And fear about bringing a fragile baby into a world with a lurking deadly virus.

Before we put Kip to bed, we took a family photo of just the three of us and I snuggled with Kip as he fell asleep and I tried not to cry. The next time I'd see him he would no longer be my only baby. I didn't expect to feel so emotional about that.

When Dan and I left for the hospital, I was just barely keeping it together. And then I couldn't find my hand sanitizer. That's how my anxiety works...it builds up and then one teeny tiny little thing pushes it over. We found a different bottle in the car and got on the road. Then we hit traffic. BAD traffic, at 9:30 at night in a city that is supposedly shut down! It was literally bumper to bumper and not moving. I started freaking out that we'd be late and I was frustrated and mad at the whole situation. Dan ended up having to take the tunnel instead of the bridge. I hate the tunnel. Enclosed tubes that run under water mixed with my already heightened anxiety is never good. We got through and then Dan had to weave around lower Manhattan which was ridiculously crowded with people on bikes. WHY????? It felt like one thing after the other poking at my fears and making things worse. It's a wonder stress didn't just put me into labor right then.

Anyways, by the time we got to the hospital I was basically crying and furious. Then we had to leave the car with a valet which pissed me off even more. Why in the world would valets be considered safe or essential in a pandemic? Letting a stranger inside your car to park it? Plus the guy had no mask - which is against the rules right now - that pushed me even more. Then we had to walk into the hospital lugging all our stuff and walk right past the Covid testing tent and wait in line for security to take their sweet time touching all our bags.

By the time we got to the maternity floor my mask was the only thing hiding my near breakdown state. Dan had to wait outside and a nurse took me into the room I was going to deliver in. As soon as I entered I was told I couldn't leave. It was cold and dark outside and I felt like everyone was treating me like I was toxic and nothing about the start of bringing life into this world was positive. I got all hooked up to the monitors and in bed and every single person who came into the room questioned me about my exposure and if I had any Covid symptoms. Everyone was wearing a mask and some of them were wearing double masks. Then Dan walked in wearing a blue plastic apron and was told he'd have to wear it and the mask the whole time and I had to keep my mask on as well.

I knew that beforehand but I guess something about seeing it and then realizing I'd have the mask on for hours and even days with no break was overwhelming.

Finally a PA came into the room and she was the first one that asked me how I was doing and not just whether I had a cough or was around anyone who had a cough. Her kindness broke me and I blubbered for a bit about how stressful it was to be having a baby right now and I'm sure I said something about being claustrophobic and wearing the mask. She was nice and reassuring and once I got it out, I was okay. She gave me the Covid test which was not as painful as I expected it to be and may have been the root cause of my anxiety because once it was over I was much more calm. We watched some late night TV and tried to get used to the environment.

May 17, 2020 - Midnight

At around 12:00 am, they started the induction process which was very different than it was with Kip. Apparently a lot of things change in less than three years. Instead of getting the drug via the IV, they inserted a seed-sized pill into my cervix which was supposed to start softening it. They said they'd check me again in four hours and maybe do it again if the cervix had not progressed.  I hoped that wouldn't be the case because it was painful, it felt like the nurse stuck her whole arm inside of me just to place this itty bitty little pill.

1:00 am

Luckily, the pill worked fast for me because I started having contractions almost immediately. They weren't exactly painful but I could feel them. At 1 am a nurse came into the room and was having me lay on my right side and then flip to my left and back and forth. Another nurse came in and then the PA and they were all standing there watching the monitors and moving the belly band around and having me turn from side to side. Dan and I couldn't really tell what was happening but something similar had happened with Kip so neither of us were worried. No one really said too much except the contractions were causing the baby's heart rate to fluctuate. Then suddenly there was a doctor in the room and when the next contraction came one of the nurses rolled me over and jammed a shot into my upper thigh...like epi-pen style. No alcohol wipe, no pinching the fat...just slammed it into my thigh. After all the flurry of activity, the doctor told us that the contractions were coming too quickly for the baby to handle and her heart rate wasn't stable so they gave me the shot to stop the contractions. It was an intense few minutes but after the shot, the contractions stopped and I was able to hear the baby heart monitor again. But as a result of the adrenaline or the shot or something, I started shaking uncontrollably and I couldn't stop. It was alarming to me but the nurses said it was normal when you go into labor. Fortunately after several minutes it stopped.

2:00 am

My OB came into the room for a visit. Apparently she was in the OR delivering another baby earlier and could see on the monitors that our baby was in distress so she asked another doctor to come and check on us. She was the one that had the nurse administer the shot.

3:00 - 4:00 am

Attempt to sleep/rest. Pretty ineffective. We got maybe 30 solid minutes

4:00 am

Nurse came in to do a pelvic exam and check to see if the cervix was progressing. At that point I was only 2 cm dilated and they gave me the choice of inserting another Miso pill or to get a balloon inserted to help with dilating. I opted for the balloon and Pitocin.

5:00 am

Anesthesia came to do the epidural. Since Dan wasn't allowed to leave the room they made him go sit in the corner and face the wall while they did the epidural. It was more painful than I remembered it being. Right after that was placed the nurse did the balloon and the catheter. Apparently the epidural was a little wonky because one half of my body was numb way faster than the other half so there was an hour or so where my right side felt like it was falling asleep while the left side was totally dead feeling. I also got a weird pinprick sensation in my head every time the medicine was pumped in. It went away after awhile but it was not something I experienced the first time. 

8:00 am

Breakfast arrived. Since partners could not leave the rooms, they brought Dan a tray. He got eggs and french toast and I got cold broth and jello. Blech.

9:30 am

The balloon was removed and I was 6 cm dilated which was apparently good progress. We spent the next several hours watching boring TV, texting with family, and we did a call with Kip to say hi.

11:30 am

Just over twelve hours since arriving at the hospital, my OB came back again to check on us. She said it would probably be several more hours but the baby would be here by the evening.

12:30 pm

The nurse checked me again and I was still only 6 cm dilated. My water broke in the process of the exam but that didn't seem to make much of a difference to them and said it would probably still be a few hours. A little bit later I mentioned to the nurse I was feeling a little pressure like I had to pee but she said that was normal.

Within the hour a lot of things happened quickly. First, the nurses kept having me turn side to side in the bed and were constantly moving the fetal monitor to find her heartbeat. Then our nurse told us she was going on lunch break and introduced us to another nurse who was covering for her. The new nurse fussed with the fetal monitor for a bit and then pulled in a couple other nurses. Soon the room was full and people were rushing around setting things up. Suddenly my OB returned again and said we'd be having the baby very soon. This was a little shocking since it was less than an hour after she said it would be several more hours and I was only 6 cm dilated to my knowledge. But, suddenly they were sliding me down on the table and getting me into the stirrups and telling me to push.

I think they didn't give us a lot of information because they wanted me to stay calm and focus on pushing but after the fact Dan and I realized that they couldn't locate the baby's heartbeat and were rushing to get her out quickly because she was in distress. I pushed four times, each for 10 seconds and each about 15-20 seconds apart. At one point my doctor asked a nurse to get the vacuum ready and she told me that the umbilical cord seemed to be stuck on something and I needed to get the baby out on the next push otherwise she would use the vacuum. I didn't want that so I pushed as hard as I could and they pulled my hands down to feel her head and help pull her onto my chest.

At 1:35 pm, Ivy May Johnson was born.

It was fast and chaotic and emotional. Dan and I were both crying but she wasn't crying. Well, she had her mouth open like she was silent screaming. I was worried because she also seemed a little purple. My doctor said she came out squeezing the umbilical cord in her hand and that was probably why her heart rate was dropping. She finally took a breath and cried and pinked-up quickly. The nurses took her after I had held her for a bit and they cleaned her up and put her back on my chest where she stopped crying and snuggled in close.

A nurse helped me attempt to breastfeed for a little before they took Ivy again to get her weighed and vitals checked and all that fun stuff plus take her footprints.

We spent the next several hours in the delivery room. It was nice to be able to stay there awhile which was great since it was a big space and we didn't feel rushed out. One of the nurses came back and spent a long time helping me get Ivy to latch and feed. This did not happen with Kip and I feel like one major silver lining of delivering a baby in the middle of a pandemic was the maternity ward was fairly empty. Since there were not a lot of other women delivering there, we got a lot of attention from the nurses and other staff. All that support really helped to ease my anxiety and boost my confidence.

Around 5 pm

We were moved to the recovery room. Last time I had to share a room and it was SO tiny and hot and miserable. This time they were not having people share rooms in order to limit potential Covid exposure. It wasn't a private room because Dan couldn't spend the night and there was another bed in the room but it felt private to me since I had it all to myself. Dan was able to stay until 9 pm so we spent the next several hours soaking-in the first several hours of Ivy's life and bonding with her sweet soul.

Once I held her in my arms, all my anxiety from the night before disappeared. She brought such peace and calm to my heart and we were incredibly grateful for her safe arrival. A tiny blessing during a dark and unpredictable time in this world.