Museum Dedication

Since the known readership of this blogs consists of approximately 5 people, you all know I work at the 9/11 Memorial & Museum and you have all heard, I'm sure, we opened last week.  Finally.

Thursday the 15th was the dedication ceremony with elected officials like President Obama and Mayors Giuliani, Bloomberg, and DeBlasio.  I cannot find the full video of the ceremony online...sorry.  It was a very well done program, I thought.  After the ceremony the guests were the first to visit the exhibitions following the dedication.  Even though I had been down to the exhibitions over and over during the last several months with the object installation, seeing it all finished and clean was quite powerful. 

Each staff member was allowed two guest passes for the Dedication Period which was a five day period running 24/7 and reserved for 9/11 family members, first responders, survivors, lower Manhattan residents, and other groups that participated in the creation of the museum like contractors, object handlers, collection donors, etc.  I took Dan as my guest on Friday which was the first full day of dedication period.

The Museum consists of primarily two exhibitions.  The first is the Historical Exhibition and it recounts the events of 9/11, the history of the towers, the events that lead to the attacks, and the rescue and recovery period.  Dan and I went to this exhibition first and we spent 3 hours walking through the space which occupies the area of the footprint of the North Tower.  It was crowded and we stopped to listen to a lot of the audio pieces but overall it was very exhausting to spend that much time in there, and we only read about 40% of the text.  I was familiar with all of the material and the layout but going through it as a visitor and with a visitor experiencing it for the first time was totally different.  The night we went there was a no photography policy being enforced so we didn't get any photos.  However, a few days later when I was working down there the policy was changed so I was able to take a few shots. 

We decided not to visit the other exhibition areas because it was already after 9:00 pm.  The parts Dan didn't see are the Memorial Exhibition which is dedicated to the victims and contains portraits of all of the victims on the walls, covering floor to ceiling.  There are interactive tables where you can look up an individuals name and see photographs and mementos related to the lives as they were lived and hear audio remembrances from friends and family. 

There is also an archeological walkway where you can see remnants from the original foundation of the Towers and see videos about the building of the Towers. 

The large Foundation Hall is where you see the Last Column which was the last piece of steel removed from the site and signed by many of the rescue and recovery workers.  There are large artifacts such as damaged fire trucks, part of the communication antenna from the top of the North Tower and an elevator motor.

My favorite part of the exhibition is the second part that shows the life of the Towers.  There is the original architectural model of the WTC complex and the walls are covered in movie posters and photographs featuring the Twin Towers.  The cases are filled with souvenirs and other objects sold with depicting the New York skyline with the Towers.  Its a nice light and happier area of the museum. 

If you come visit Dan and me and you want to see the museum, I'll give you the insiders tour with extra details not covered in the exhibition script.  7/10 of my free tickets are already spoken for so the remaining tickets are first come first served. 

Memorial Day Weekend

Long holiday weekends are the best.  Here is how ours played out.

On Friday we were both hoping to get out of work early but were both strung along until close to 5:00 pm...not much of an early release.  We met up in downtown Brooklyn and grabbed a quick dinner at Panera and then headed over to the theater to see Godzilla.  We got a giant bag of popcorn and a huge lemonade to share.  The movie was what you would expect of Godzilla...a lot of crushed buildings and scary prehistoric creatures. 

Saturday was a lot of back and forth in Bay Ridge.  We took advantage of the Memorial Day sales and bought a REAL mattress at Sleepy's.  We are SO excited because this is the first real mattress either of us has ever had in our adult lives.  I have been sleeping on an Ikea futon for the last 5 years and Dan's bed is Ikea's version of a dorm mattress.   This mattress marks our entrance into true adulthood and of course...marriage.  The best part is Sleepy's has delayed delivery so we don't have to worry about it until we find a place and can get it delivered to us in a few of months!

Also on Saturday we did some birthday shopping for Dan's mom and went to a birthday party for one of my friends from school.  We almost dined and dashed by accident when we left without realizing we didn't pay.  Luckily we remembered in time to go back.  That night I made a Hummingbird cake for church the next day.  It was a hit, wish I had taken a picture.  Recipe here.

On Sunday we did our usual church routine and spent the afternoon doing a whole lot of nothing but watching tv and a bit of watercolor painting.  For dinner I made Hawaiian bbq chicken taquitos. Yum!  Recipe here. 

Holiday Monday had a slow start with a shaving injury that took 45 minutes to stop bleeding.  Once we got it together we headed over to Owl's Head for a picnic and played some Chinese poker.  I must have been in la la land because I didn't even think about taking pictures.  It finally felt like summer with temperatures in the upper 80s so we soaked in the sunnies.  Later we watched movies, played scrabble, and got Grandma's pizza for dinner.  We hit up the memorial day super sale at Old Navy.com for some summer steals and registered for a Color Run 5K on July 5th. 

Overall, a moderately productive and sufficiently relaxing weekend.  Every week should have a holiday Monday.  I'm certain everyone would be much cheerier during the work week if we all started on Tuesday.

P.S. Someone bought the teapot from the registry!!! This thrills me beyond belief.  The tools for Dan were purchased too.  Squeeeee

Apartment-itis

You know senior-itis?  It's that thing you get when you are a month or so away from graduating high school or college and you simply cannot muster any motivation to do any work or put any effort into required tasks. Yeah, I have that only with my apartment.

Dan and I will be getting a place together soon!  He will move in at the beginning of August and I will move in after the wedding.  We don't even have the place yet and we can't even start looking but I remind Dan every.single.day. that I want a new apartment.  Why?  because I hate mine and I am so over it.

I have lived in this same apartment for nearly 5 years and it has served me well.  I invested in its decor and made it a really lovely and cozy home.  But I'm tired of it.  Super tired.  The walls are white and are therefore dirty, like soot covered (okay so maybe that was my fault but that doesn't mean I have to accept it!).   The kitchen is TOO SMALL.  I have a 12 inch square amount of counter space.  There is no hood vent so your bedsheets smell like whatever you cook.  Why?  Because it is a studio and the bed/couch is in the kitchen.  The microwave is practically on the floor and the bathroom has this odd wet concrete smell that I can't figure out where it is coming from.  Also the room is not square, the walls are angled and that really irks my OCD tendencies. 

Because the new apartment is SO CLOSE I have no motivation to keep things nice and invest in my current place.  Normally I would scrub the tub and dust fanatically, I would by a new bedspread  or re-arrange the furniture.  But now I just don't want to invest energy in making it lovely because I want to start fresh.

Rather than tolerating my current living space I have retreated to the magical realms of the dream world.  I have imaginary floor plans drawn out (this is dangerous, my friends, if I don't have a a wall cut out that allows you to see from the kitchen into the living space it will mess up my whole plan!)

We have pre-purchased items that I feared would not be available by the time we move.  It was a good thing we did this because see that super soft sunflower yellow blanket in that pic?  Yeah, it is now discontinued. 

I have spent hours on Pinterest collecting ideas and drawing artwork for the walls

And let me tell you, the wedding registry could be my career.  Making lists of things for people to buy you?  Hello, heaven!

Mandy has collected Christmas decorations for us awaiting a space for us to put them and she has made custom request felt garlands and decorated frames for pre-selected room colors.  She is so crafty.  Isn't that amazing...those are handmade felt flowers!

All of this is super fun for me but also makes it terribly difficult to concentrate on anything other than creating a home for Dan and me and difficult to tolerate anything related to my current apartment.  Beer me strength for the next three months. 

Jim & Pete's

So Steph has done an amazing job recording our trip to Chicago.

But she left me some room to post as well...so this is a bit of a rewind post.

As she said earlier, the food at the tasting was amazing (see here) and the whole trip overall was great.    

One of the other tasks on our list was to check out Jim & Pete's which is the restaurant where we plan to have the rehearsal dinner.  So Friday night Steph, her sister, Mandy, their mom/my future second mom, and grandma went to check it out.

It was a nice Italian style restaurant but not crazy expensive.  Similar to Vesuvio's in Bay Ridge.
We tried to order some of the options we have to choose from for the rehearsal dinner.

The food was super yummy.  And we all had a great time.  I don't remember what everyone got.    Bad memory.  But it will be a great place for rehearsal dinner.   

P.S. if you are coming to the rehearsal dinner and plan on driving a car, don't park in parking lot next to restaurant.  It will be towed.  

BYOR

I follow several blogs where the moms write about having their kids make summer goals for themselves like, read x number of books or practice x number of hours or do x chore every day.  The kids even make charts to keep track of how they are accomplishing their goals.  I'm sorry but that sounds like the exact opposite of what summer for a kid should be.

When I was little we had nothing like that.  Summer was a totally free and unstructured time.  Sure we might have swimming lessons or a week long art class or something like that but we never had expectations or tasks masquerading as "goals." Childhood is such a short window of experience and summer is the time to soak it all in.  I loved going in the backyard in the morning and Mandy and I would make sand and grass combinations in our playhouse, pretending like we had a cooking show.  When it got too hot we would go inside and spend hours arranging the basement playroom to set it up as our "house."  I remember going on long walks in the evening and always ending up at the 7/11 to get candy.  And biking around and around the block. I wish summer as an adult was even a little bit like the sweetness of summer as a kid.

Schedules and goals are good.  Structure and plans are important.  Order and organization help me to thrive but all of these things are also oppressive.  So many lists of things to get done and tasks to check off.  I have thousands of details that I have to keep track of in my mind.   Trying to balance making sure everyone feels acknowledged and special while also not breaking the bank or leaving anyone out is really hard.  

Kids these days are in such a rush to grow up and parents are so eager to cram as much stuff as they can into their school years.  I wish kids knew (I wish I had known) that carefree summers and the days with little to no expectations are treasures, rarely if ever seen in adulthood.

I hope Dan and I can give our kids that sense of freedom and hold off the feelings of pressure and demands for them as long as possible.  For this reason I will not have them make "summer goals" charts and if we did the goals will be - sleep in every day and - eat lots of ice cream.  I think I can say for both Dan and myself that the expectations we place on ourselves are far greater than any someone else puts on our shoulders...if only we could figure out how to consistently say "it's okay, that's not important now.  just be still." 

Below is a drawing of my little mantra guy.  His name is BYOR (pronounced be-your) and it stands for "Be Your Own Rainbow."  He is the essence of accepting who you are and summoning the inner strength to be that person despite pressures and expectations from the world around you.   So today and every day...BYOR!

Vitalized

This past Friday Dan and I finished our pre-marital counseling.  Overall, it was a great experience.  We learned a lot.  Shared a lot. And got some great insight and perspective on our relationship and our future as a married couple.

Before we started meeting with a counselor, the pre-marital program at Redeemer has each person complete an online survey separately.  They take the answers from each person and mix them together (in some unknown magical computer-y way) and put together a report of what areas that couple needs to work on and which areas are their strengths.  The counselor gets the results and the couple completes a workbook with various questions to discuss and think about in particular areas like personal stress, conflict resolution, financial management, etc.  The counselor then facilitates a conversation about the workbook experience and offers advise on working through things. 

Dan and I looked at the various topics in the workbook and decided together which areas we wanted to go-over with our counselor.  You don't have to cover each topic in a session so we picked ones that we felt needed work.  Towards the end of our second to last session,  we got our report back  from the initial couples questionnaire.

We won't share the whole report (because it's boring) but our results indicate that we are a "vitalized couple."  Our counselor was pretty excited about that so we were too...even though we didn't really know what that meant right away. 

If you can't read the summary, it says:

Your results indicate that you are a vitalized couple with strengths in most areas of your relationship.  Vitalized couples typically have high satisfaction with their relationship.  Like any couple, you may have some growth areas in your relationship, but your strong relationship skills should help you work through them.  You have a great foundation to build upon!

P.S.

This weekend was pure bliss.  Maybe it was the much needed dose of sun and warm weather or maybe it was the extra amount of snuggles.  Either or both.  It was good.  

Serving together

One thing I enjoy a lot is helping others.  I learned that I cannot go too long without serving others but it's not good for my schedule to overdo it either, regardless, one of my passions in life is to help others.

A great thing about my relationship with Stephanie is that she loves to serve others as well and we often get chance to do it together.  Whether on Sundays at church, with our small group, or in a youth group setting...we get to do it a lot. 

Stephanie is so helpful and keeps me grounded when there are a lot of details going on.   This last Saturday we got to serve together with a few of the teens from the church youth group at a program through Habitat for Humanity called "Brush with Kindness."  We helped finish painting a senior center at a housing project in Harlem.  It had flood damage from hurricane Sandy.  

I have to be a little sneaky sometimes because Stephanie doesn't always like pictures

 

Anyways, all I have to say is that it is fun to serve with the person you love.  I'm glad we get the chance so frequently! 

Just because

I'm not one to demand flowers because they are expensive and die.  BUT I do very much enjoy their cheery presence and more than that I enjoy surprises.

When I got back to my place after work yesterday there was a gigantic bouquet on my table.  When I asked why he got them he said "Just because I wanted you to know how special you are."  gush!

Thanks Dan.  You're the smile on my face.  

Don/Ron: The Mailman Story

So when I first moved to Brooklyn, almost five years ago, I only had a part-time job so I was around my apartment a lot during the day.  Because of my obvious newness and the nosey personality of the guy, I became "friends" with the mailman.  That Christmas I made cookies for him as my poor grad student holiday tip.  I attached a note that said "Merry Christmas Ron" and stuck them in my mailbox.  He wrote back on the note "Thanks.  Don."

This is how I realized his name was Don and not Ron.  And yet, to this day, every time I see him I have a 5 second debate in my head about whether his name is Don or Ron.

Anyways, Don/Ron knows way too much about my personal life.  It seems I had a knack for running into him most Saturdays on his rounds and I would be stuck on the street corner, laundry in hand, and bound to talking with him for a good 20 minutes.  No lie.  

Don/Ron is in his mid forties and is from Italian descent and lives on Staten Island.  His has a good New York accent and has strong opinions about the cleanliness of certain ethnic groups in the neighborhood.  He told me which blocks have "rif raff" and thinks my landlord is lazy.  He knows all about my family and has even met my parents.  I've had conversations with him about my job, the stability of the postal service, religion, immigration, the ethic differences in Bay Ridge over time, and of course...my "love life" or the lack thereof for the longest time.

Dan and I have successfully avoided speaking with him since we started dating.  This was through a concerted effort on my part as Dan can attest we have crossed streets and gone out of our way to avoid him.  Not to be mean, Don/Ron is a nice guy an all but the last time I spoke with him I had to try and explain why I had never had a boyfriend and what the deal was with that?  It was an awkward conversation.  I think I told him, "well no one is interested and I'm not one to pursue."  Not more than a month after that converstaion Dan asked me out.  And since then I did not want to involve Don/Ron in our relationship.

Well, that ended on Saturday.  I was cornered by the man.  No escape without being obvious.  It was the usual chit chat...where've you been...how are things...I haven't seen you in awhile.  I acted all "oh really, has it been that long?"  Then he said "I've seen you with a gentleman."  GEEZ let's just get right to the point Don/Ron.  So I told him about Dan and that we are engaged and will be married in August. Of course he had opinions.

Oh, Don/Ron, you are a character.  Someone should put you and your mail route on a reality TV show.  People would watch it. 

Is this just me?

I usually have a lot of dreams at night and the majority of the time they are anxiety dreams.  Basically something I am worried about plays out in a dream sequence.  A lot of times they are extreme versions of what I am worried about like I'm envious of a girl at work and her beautiful hair (true story) and in the dream this girl says something really cruel to me about how ugly I am and I get fired for having bad hair.  I mean, come on, that would never happen but that's how my anxiety dreams work.

At the beginning of our relationship I used to have a lot of dreams with Dan in them.  And he was always mean.  Always.  I remember one dream where I was carrying a huge stack of books and Dan told one of the teenagers at church to chuck a football at me.  All the books collapsed and Dan stood there laughing.  I woke up from the dream and I was actually pissed at Dan for something he did to me IN A DREAM!  I think I had so many dreams about him being mean to me because, well, Dan is never mean so I was having to work through the anxiety of anticipating him being mean.  Silly.  I haven't had a mean Dan dream in awhile...don't know what that's about.

My active mind also has a wild daydream life.  Especially the past few months when I've had to stand around a lot at work and my idle mind slips in and out of reality.  Most of my daydreams are me completing something I need to do like composing an email in my head or having a conversation at work.  These daydreams are so vivid (especially when I'm dozing on the train) that when I come back to reality I have convinced myself that I actually wrote the email or had the conversation.  This happens so much that on occasion I'll say to someone "remember we talked about such n such..." and they are like, "umm no we never did that."  Then I get all confused and have to replay the daydream in my mind to confirm that it was bogus.  It's complicated.

I tell you all of this because the wedding is a highly visited event in my anxiety dreams and in my work-through-it daydreams.  

Most recently I had an anxiety dream that it was the wedding day and I still had no shoes.  My mom was mad at me for leaving it until the last minute and I snarled back that I planned on wearing flip flops the whole time.  So there I was walking down the aisle with flip flops on and bare toes trying to be all "I meant to do this" while Mandy and Jessy had beautifully manicured toes and cute peep-toe shoes.  There was a lot of sister envy tension in that dream too...

In a daydream from today I had made a playlist on iTunes will all the prelude and postlude songs to play during the ceremony and I even had everything timed out and spaced.  It was such a relief to get that out of the way.  Phew!  Then I came back to reality and I was thoroughly disappointed that I did NOT actually complete that task in real life. 

Please tell me I'm not the only person that this happens to...

Anyways, that's my story for the day.  I'll leave you with a silly picture of Dan and Stowaway