Don/Ron: The Mailman Story

So when I first moved to Brooklyn, almost five years ago, I only had a part-time job so I was around my apartment a lot during the day.  Because of my obvious newness and the nosey personality of the guy, I became "friends" with the mailman.  That Christmas I made cookies for him as my poor grad student holiday tip.  I attached a note that said "Merry Christmas Ron" and stuck them in my mailbox.  He wrote back on the note "Thanks.  Don."

This is how I realized his name was Don and not Ron.  And yet, to this day, every time I see him I have a 5 second debate in my head about whether his name is Don or Ron.

Anyways, Don/Ron knows way too much about my personal life.  It seems I had a knack for running into him most Saturdays on his rounds and I would be stuck on the street corner, laundry in hand, and bound to talking with him for a good 20 minutes.  No lie.  

Don/Ron is in his mid forties and is from Italian descent and lives on Staten Island.  His has a good New York accent and has strong opinions about the cleanliness of certain ethnic groups in the neighborhood.  He told me which blocks have "rif raff" and thinks my landlord is lazy.  He knows all about my family and has even met my parents.  I've had conversations with him about my job, the stability of the postal service, religion, immigration, the ethic differences in Bay Ridge over time, and of course...my "love life" or the lack thereof for the longest time.

Dan and I have successfully avoided speaking with him since we started dating.  This was through a concerted effort on my part as Dan can attest we have crossed streets and gone out of our way to avoid him.  Not to be mean, Don/Ron is a nice guy an all but the last time I spoke with him I had to try and explain why I had never had a boyfriend and what the deal was with that?  It was an awkward conversation.  I think I told him, "well no one is interested and I'm not one to pursue."  Not more than a month after that converstaion Dan asked me out.  And since then I did not want to involve Don/Ron in our relationship.

Well, that ended on Saturday.  I was cornered by the man.  No escape without being obvious.  It was the usual chit chat...where've you been...how are things...I haven't seen you in awhile.  I acted all "oh really, has it been that long?"  Then he said "I've seen you with a gentleman."  GEEZ let's just get right to the point Don/Ron.  So I told him about Dan and that we are engaged and will be married in August. Of course he had opinions.

Oh, Don/Ron, you are a character.  Someone should put you and your mail route on a reality TV show.  People would watch it.