BYOR

I follow several blogs where the moms write about having their kids make summer goals for themselves like, read x number of books or practice x number of hours or do x chore every day.  The kids even make charts to keep track of how they are accomplishing their goals.  I'm sorry but that sounds like the exact opposite of what summer for a kid should be.

When I was little we had nothing like that.  Summer was a totally free and unstructured time.  Sure we might have swimming lessons or a week long art class or something like that but we never had expectations or tasks masquerading as "goals." Childhood is such a short window of experience and summer is the time to soak it all in.  I loved going in the backyard in the morning and Mandy and I would make sand and grass combinations in our playhouse, pretending like we had a cooking show.  When it got too hot we would go inside and spend hours arranging the basement playroom to set it up as our "house."  I remember going on long walks in the evening and always ending up at the 7/11 to get candy.  And biking around and around the block. I wish summer as an adult was even a little bit like the sweetness of summer as a kid.

Schedules and goals are good.  Structure and plans are important.  Order and organization help me to thrive but all of these things are also oppressive.  So many lists of things to get done and tasks to check off.  I have thousands of details that I have to keep track of in my mind.   Trying to balance making sure everyone feels acknowledged and special while also not breaking the bank or leaving anyone out is really hard.  

Kids these days are in such a rush to grow up and parents are so eager to cram as much stuff as they can into their school years.  I wish kids knew (I wish I had known) that carefree summers and the days with little to no expectations are treasures, rarely if ever seen in adulthood.

I hope Dan and I can give our kids that sense of freedom and hold off the feelings of pressure and demands for them as long as possible.  For this reason I will not have them make "summer goals" charts and if we did the goals will be - sleep in every day and - eat lots of ice cream.  I think I can say for both Dan and myself that the expectations we place on ourselves are far greater than any someone else puts on our shoulders...if only we could figure out how to consistently say "it's okay, that's not important now.  just be still." 

Below is a drawing of my little mantra guy.  His name is BYOR (pronounced be-your) and it stands for "Be Your Own Rainbow."  He is the essence of accepting who you are and summoning the inner strength to be that person despite pressures and expectations from the world around you.   So today and every day...BYOR!